My friend Melanie hosted an ice cream social style back to school party at her house yesterday to welcome the new families in our grade. We’re not sure what happened, but none of the new families ended up making it out. So we moms who already knew each other all just chatted it up around the pool while the kids played around like wild hooligans.
And ate truck loads of ice cream.
If I’ve learned anything over a year of hosting the HeartStories Girls Night Out, it’s that the people who are meant to be there are the ones who show up. Every single time. When you throw a party, it’s easy to get caught up in wanting to make sure everyone you think would enjoy it, or benefit from it, shows up. Just like yesterday, I caught myself thinking how much I wished the new moms where there so we could get to know them and love on them a bit because getting to know them in car line and during classroom parties is so tough.
I had to remind myself that ice cream social was exactly as it should be.
In that moment, the moms who showed up connected. We listened to each other’s stories and dreams in a familiar way that wouldn’t have been possible with the larger group. We got to go a little deeper than the surface and that’s exactly what we needed. And the cherry on top? My boys learned the proper way to dry a t-shirt outside your car window while driving (AKA flying your freak flag) from our great Mom Maestro Mel before we left.
You can’t make people show up for the things you know they need, no matter how much you want to.
Not your spouse, not your kids, not your friends, not your boss. . . especially not the friends you haven’t even met yet. Because change can only happen when they are ready and willing to take the first step.
All you can do is go first.
Send the invitation, throw the party and show up. Go the extra mile. Be generous. Throw the best party you can possibly throw. Let the rest take care of itself. . . and it will.
You may not get to see it right away.
You may not get to see it at all, but all is not lost. Investing in people is never a lost cause.
Because it changes you in the process.
This I know for sure.
to more love,
P.S. If you’re on the fence about GNO tomorrow night, consider this your invitation. Come join us. I’m saving you a seat.