As we’ve been preparing for tonight’s GNO, Melissa and I have been talking daily about all the issues and the questions facing women in our society. Naturally, that’s evolved into my own constant thoughts about the landscape of our lives. Yes, many of us have so much privilege we can’t even see straight, but that doesn’t diminish the weight of our struggles or the depth of our questions.
The struggle is real, yo. (busting out a Melissa-ism for you right there.)
We opened up the conversation for tonight by asking for your questions in advance. All the hard, funny, embarrassing and awkward questions. As they started rolling in, it quickly became apparent that even though our lives are all so different, at the end of the day, we’re all so much the same.
We really are all the same.
We have the same basic needs, same fears, same hopes, same dreams. It’s because we’re all human, of course. We’re all in this together, trying to fumble through life and relationships the best we can.
But too often we keep all the tough questions to ourselves.
We’ve been burned, we won’t do that again. We’ve felt the sting of judgement, we won’t share that again. And so we stuff the tough ones down and isolate ourselves by keeping our questions and concerns inside. We stick with the easy conversations. We don’t want to rock the boat or ruffle the feathers. And by all means, we do NOT want to get hurt again.
When we feel like we don’t have a safe place to turn, we turn nowhere at all.
So we have to remind each other where to meet. We have to decide to put the relationship first. We must agree that as sister we will be build our friendships in the field beyond right and wrong. We’ll meet in the middle of the wide open field Rumi describes.
“There’s a field beyond all notions of right or wrong, come meet me there.”
Safe relationships are built there. We can travel anywhere we choose to from there, but it all has to start in that field. The notions of right or wrong can only be discussed after we’ve met in that field of empathy, grace and hope.
The beautiful field of humanity.
When things get sticky in your closest relationships and you’re not sure where to turn, just remember where to meet.
Meet the person in the field, it’s only then you can begin your travels together.
to more love,
P.S. That’s what tonight is all about, we’re meeting in the field together. Meet me there.