The Imposter

Every month, in the days leading up to the Girl’s Night Out, it’s not coincidence that I find myself battling The Imposter Syndrome.  (a term, referring to high-achieving individuals marked by an inability to internalize their accomplishments and a persistent fear of being exposed as a “fraud”.  Despite external evidence of their competence, those exhibiting the syndrome remain convinced that they are frauds and do not deserve the success they have achieved.)  If you’ve never heard of it, it’s worth reading about.  It’s incredibly interesting.

Especially if it sounds familiar. 😉

When I’m behind on planning, my mind is quick to remind me, that’s because I’m not responsible.  When registrations are slower than expected, my mind fills that gap with, “That’s because they don’t trust you“.  When I hear of another group of women connecting and making enormous change in the world, I assume that now, I’m not needed.  And don’t even get me started when it comes to other women like Glennon, Brené, and Elizabeth. . . why should I write when we already have them?!

It’s not coincidence that this girl, who’s so passionate about helping other women “replace the noise & hear love“,  so they can live out the stories of their heart, is constantly having to practice doing that very thing.

I was feeling some of those things last night, so I thought I’d talk about it with you this morning for a couple of reasons.

1.  Because that’s a big part of The Imposter Complex – not talking about it with anyone – everything has more power inside our minds.

2.  You’re not alone.  I wanted to put it out there because if you’re anything like me, you’re probably fighting it some days too.

So be encouraged sister.  The fact that you’re dealing with the  imposter syndrome is actually a really good thing.  You know why?   Because last time I checked, there aren’t a lot of us who feel like an imposter sitting at home alone on the couch with a bowl of Ben & Jerry’s.  If the imposter is creeping up on you, it means you are doing something.

It means you’re doing something important that needs to be done.

It means we need you.  It means there are other’s who gave in and gave up when the imposter came knocking and we need you to stay and fight.   So if you’re like me, and sometimes you feel like a fraud. . . like everyone is going to find out you don’t really know what you’re doing and you’ll be the laughing-stock of the century.  Please remember this note.

Remember you are never alone.

If the love you need to hear doesn’t infiltrate fast enough to take the fear away, sometimes you just have to show up scared.  And that’s alright.  All that matters is that you show up.  Because when you show up to live the story only you can live, when you connect authentically with other people, when you show up and say the thing that others are afraid to say. . .

Drip, by drip, by drip, you gain the courage to look the imposter in the face and keep showing up anyway.

And you give that courage to others, all along the way.

So keep showing up.  Show up scared if you must.  Just show up.

You were born for this. 

to more love,



  1. Thank you Crystal for sharing this with me today. This is exactly how I feel every time I try to move in the direction of helping and bringing others together. I am not a writer and my talents are of serving others. But your beautiful words have helped me today understand that I’m not the only one with this struggle.
    Thank You, God Bless

    1. Oh you are so welcome Kathy! Yes. That is my huge hope when I write that you and others will realize we are all the same. Same struggles, same fears. Same hopes and dreams. We have to practice doing it all, together. 😉 Thank you so much for your note.

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