Sometimes you need a tow

A weekend of scuba instruction taught me something I didn’t expect.  If you watched my social stories over the weekend, you saw that I *might* have been a little overexcited that my boys are finally getting certified to scuba dive.  Yes, they are still young, but they’ve been participating with us each year in very shallow scuba after many “bubble” courses and they beg to dive with us each year.

This was finally the year we decided to put in the work for them to become officially certified.  

There are many reasons for this.  Of course, the first and most important is their safety.  Another incredible life lesson involved in learning to scuba is the skill of learning to stay calm in difficult situations.  It’s learning to stop, think, and take action quickly.  It teaches you to have fun, always stay with a buddy, and appreciate the vast underwater world.

One of my personal favorite life lessons from scuba is the way it reminds you to breathe, slowly and deeply.  

You can be in the roughest seas imaginable above the water, but the second you jump in and allow your face to sink below the water, everything becomes calm.  For me, that is mostly due to the fact that instantly, the loudest sound you hear is the sound of your own breath.  In and out . . . in and out.  Then the sound of water slowly passing by.  Then maybe the sound of your buddy splashing in behind you.

All the stresses of the outside world simply disappear under the water.  

But at the pool, watching my boys practice all their scuba skills, I was surprised to find that one of my very favorite things was watching them practice their rescue skills.  They had to signal to one another any struggles they might have and take appropriate action, and it was beautiful to watch from above.  They had to take turns being the diver in need of rescue and being the rescuer.  I loved watching them swim laps towing each other.  I loved the way had to practice swimming laps sharing air from their buddy’s tank, which required them to hold on to each other the entire way.  They’re used to horsing around all day, not having to be completely vulnerable and depend on one another.  It made my mama heart so proud to see them get serious about caring for one another, even if only for a minute.

It was a beautiful reminder of how busy women like us go through our lives independently, entirely too often. 

Sure, we horse around with our friends sometimes.  We see each other.  We connect, we laugh.  But it’s rare that we let the rest of the world disappear for a moment and get completely vulnerable.  We might acknowledge that something isn’t right.  We might even say we need to share some air, but it’s rare that we fully let our guards down and acknowledge just how much we need each other.  I would venture to say that unless absolutely forced, we will not, under any circumstances ask for a tow.

Even though sometimes it exactly what we need.

Take a deep breath right now.  Let everything else subside for just this moment.  What do you need?  Do you need to signal your “buddy” that something is wrong?  Do you need to wave the white flag and let her in to know that what you really need is a short, temporary tow?  Maybe just 30 minutes of her time so you can let it all go and rest while she “takes the wheel”?

Maybe you’re breathing just fine, but what you notice at this moment, is that one of your besties is showing signs of distress. 

Maybe she hasn’t said anything, but you see her and you know it.  You know this drill.  She needs you.  Text her.  Call her.  Show up on her doorstep today.  Be the one who shows up ready to acknowledge her current state,  share some air, or even give her a little tow while she catches her breath.

Life is hard, it doesn’t help to pretend it isn’t.  

Sometimes all you need is a little tow.

If you need one, ask for it. 

If you’re able to give one, proactively offer it today.

to more love,


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