No cucumbers for you

Yesterday, I literally caught myself thinking, What are you doing eating that cucumber?  You don’t have time to eat a cucumber!  You should be typing with that hand.  Put it down!

Say WAH?

It makes no sense whatsoever.  I rush myself so often that the track playing in my mind sometimes shames me for taking time to eat a cucumber, to get up to go to the restroom, to open a new bottle of water, etc….  It’s ridiculous, right?

But it’s true.

There are probably 10 times that I don’t catch myself, for every one that I do.  There are probably 10 times I actually put the cucumber down, thinking, That’s right!  No cucumbers for you.

We all do it.

We listen to silent messages on repeat in our minds.  In fact, it’s said that we have 50,000 thoughts a day and 95% of those are repetitive and reflect our mindset or beliefs.  95%!

We talk to ourselves all day long.

If I’m shaming myself over eating a cucumber, I wonder what else I talk down to myself about?

I don’t have to wonder long.  As I sit here in silence, those things can come pouring in, if I let them.  Things like, not being a loving wife, being a distracted mother, running late, not leading HeartStories to place of financial sustainability yet, not working out or taking care of my body.

The list could go on and on.

For me, it’s the imposter syndrome, What makes you think you’re ______ (fill in the blank) enough?  I hear that a lot.

Does my list sound familiar to you?

Here’s the thing.  It’s entirely up to us to notice our thoughts and do something about them.  We can’t stop our thoughts, but we can decide how much attention to give the Cucumber Commander.

It’s the core of the HeartStories message, to Replace the Noise and Hear Love.

In case you haven’t seen it, or haven’t seen it in a while, this is the quick 1 minute video we made to help you visualize exactly what I’m talking about today.

Is it time for a new story for you?

It’s hard to hear the truth through all the noise, but you can.  We can help each other.

You can hear the truth when you open yourself up in relationships with other women who know you and love you, exactly as you are.   They reflect back the most beautiful image of who you are, the one they see when they look at you.

Research shows that most of us have 3 or less friends like this.  I’ve heard them referred to as foxhole friends and I love that.  They’re the ones who will sit in the dark with you and wait.  They don’t need answers or explanations, they’ll just be with you.

Who are those friends for you?

There might only be one and for now, that’s OK.  It’s up to you to lean in, open up and hold on.   My friend Toni put beautiful words to this:

“Grab hold of  the hands that are in the trench with you. They are in there for a reason. That reason is you. Trust them with your story. Trust them with your heart. They will not let you go alone and they will fight…”

They will.  And you will.  It goes both ways.  Those same friends who will fight for you are the friends whose hands you will hold and fight for too.

Today take notice of your thoughts and replace all that noise with love.  

Lean in to your friendships.  Hide in the foxhole with them.  It’s there, they can remind you:

You are beautiful.

You are loved.

You’re enough.

To more love,



  1. Oh Crystal. I love this. So true about those thoughts! I’m so thankful to have people in my life who will reflect back to me God’s truth of who I truly am. Forgiven, loved, and enough.

    1. Thank you Melanie! They are truly a gift.

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