How many times during the summer do you either think to yourself, or mutter under your breath, “Wow, I’m really winning ‘Mom of the Year’ right now”? Once a week? Once a day?
Once an hour?
I was working with my friend, and HeartStories Sponsor, Rhonda, yesterday when she started telling me this story about how she’s really winning “Mom of the Year” this summer. I laughed and said, “Girl, nobody wins that game.” But as she kept telling me her story, I could hear all my own stories resonating. “Me too, sister. Me too.” It’s been a summer for the history books on a lot of fronts, none of which are the front holding the banner for “Mom of the Year.” But here’s the deal:
The kids are fine.
Yes, of course, we want to be present for every moment we can. We want to guide them and protect them. We want to nurture them and cuddle them. And around here, we feel this pressure to schedule their every waking moment during summer. But they are fine. They do not need us to be present for each second of their summer. In fact, summer is so good for their brains. It’s good for them to figure out how to make their own fun and learn to navigate the world without a “teacher” looking over their shoulder constantly.
So how about let’s give ourselves a little grace?
Momming is hard in the summer. It’s a guilt trip like no other. There’s a huge divide between the way we’d love to spend our time and the reality of how we need to spend our time. Think back to your summers as a kid. What do you remember? I bet it wasn’t summer boredom. I bet you remember things like the ease of a slower schedule, sleeping in, being outside, playing with friends and maybe vacations or road trips with your family. Maybe you remember small moments with your parents that meant the world to you.
Make time for those.
Rhonda was taking time from her insanely busy day yesterday to take a special lunch to her son before she headed back out to work again. That’s what he’s going to remember from his summer. He’s going to remember the moments she carved out of her busy schedule to spend with him, and that’s what matters. The rest?
It’s the pressure of a false standard, often from social media, holding you in a choke hold of guilt.
The next time you find your kid sitting on your dining room sideboard (dirty bare feet and all), leaning his sweaty back against the window, and drinking OJ from a stemmed wine glass, remember this: he’s fine. She’s fine. We’re all okay.
You’re doing the best you can.
Practice showing grace to yourself half as much as you practice showing it to your kids.
That’s what will really make you “Mom of the Year”.
to more love,
P.S. If part of that grace is giving yourself a break, a little time away, to rejuvenate your mind and your heart, there’s still time for you to join me tomorrow! I cannot wait to share the night with Miranda Longoria as she teaches us all the best tricks to use the phone in our pockets to capture the moments that matter most.
Get your ticket today to join us.