Friendship: a container for joy

This picture cracks me up.  Our thighs were burning from holding the squat in heels for so long, trying to make sure the lighting was just right, and making sure everyone’s hair looked good.  It was one of those long silent moments and as soon as the flash finished, everyone burst into laughter.

These girls are some of my most festive, and yet comfortable, friends.  

We’ve known each other for varying lengths of time.  Some of us have been doing life together for more than seven years.  Others, I’ve known for only a year or so.  But they all feel like family.  They’re intentional about getting together often.  They love each other so well. They organize everything and all I do is show up, and sometimes bring a few things along.

They know how to do friendship so well. 

According to my friend, and friendship expert Shasta Nelson, “There are three requirements to healthy friendships: positivity, consistency, and vulnerability.  Any friendship that isn’t satisfying is because one of these is low.”   It doesn’t surprise me that these friends do all three of these on the daily.  They show up consistently, looking for the best in each other and hold each other close when life throws it’s curve balls.

That’s why there’s a special comfort level with longtime friends. 

I’ve also heard it said that new friends breathe new life into your soul and I believe that wholeheartedly.  I would add that new friends breathe life into long-standing relationships too.  In a group, while the old friends show the new ones the lay of the land, the new friends bring new perspectives and ideas to the table.  Both kinds of friends are important.

Female friendship is an essential, beautiful, and ever-changing container for joy on the journey of life. 

In our 30’s, 40’s, and 50’s it’s so hard to prioritize friendship, but it’s so important.  Reach out to a friend this week.  New or old, doesn’t matter.  Tell her what it is about her you’re grateful for.

Make plans to see her.  

Be positive.

Be consistent.

Be vulnerable.

Do it today.

to more love,



Leave a Reply

More Blog Posts
to Love ...