A day of grace

Natalie Chapman, Kelly Simants, Crystal Gornto ~ heartstories GNO Girls Night Out Frisco

Tonight we laugh, we play, we connect.  It’s GNO night and it’s only possible because of these two lovely women.  Natalie, on the left, handles the bulk of the administrative tasks with ease.  She creates the beautifully designed marketing pieces and shoulders a hefty load of email among many other things. . . at light speed.  Kelly is the Sage of the team, bringing her wisdom and years of experience to keep everything running peacefully.  She has an insane gift for keeping things light, no matter how heavy they might seem.

Then there’s me.  

The dreamer with a million ideas for things like weekend retreats, mentoring groups, slumber parties and bringing back the app . . . things that would be SO fun, transformational and life-giving. . . with only enough available time to accomplish about a tenth of them.  And a system of focus that’s very preferential towards activities I enjoy.  Yeesh.  Sounds like it could be messy.

But these two ladies make planning so much fun.

I realized why, this morning when I read what Seth Godin wrote about Pole Vaulting on Jupiter.  He pointed out that gravity is two and a half times greater on Jupiter, than on Earth.  He finished with:

“Best idea: Don’t pole vault on Jupiter. Do it on the moon if you need a good score.

Second best idea: If you’re stuck on Jupiter, give yourself some slack instead of crawling away in shame.”

 As soon as I sat down to write, I realized this is the concept I’ve been grappling with of late.  I wouldn’t have ever come up with this analogy, but this is exactly the idea.  Life is like a giant pole vaulting contest, but we’re all on different planets with different levels of gravity.  And yet, we have expectations of ourselves, and sometimes each other, to pole vault to the same heights.

This is especially true for women.  

When I think about just a handful of friend’s “planets” in my circle, it’s astonishingly true.  Kelly’s planet, Natalie’s planet, my sister’s planet, my coach Michelle’s planet, and my mentor Glenna’s planet.  Let’s just take those.  Their levels of gravity on any given day are all over the map.

The stresses in our personal and professional lives are so completely different.  

Those levels of stress effect everything.  And yet, somehow we run our races, pretending they don’t.  We compare everything we do to the women around us, rarely taking into account her level of gravity.  So while I’m such a passionate advocate for pointing out the ways we are all the same, we cannot forget how different our gravity levels are.

So today, instead of comparing your top knot to her perfectly coiffed beach curls, give yourself a little grace.  

Just getting out of bed could’ve taken a lot more out you today.  And go easy on her when you see her.  Just because her hair is fixed, doesn’t mean her heart is too.

She might have just seen Angelina on a magazine cover.

Make this a day of grace.  

to more love,


P.S.  There’s still room!  If you’ve considered joining us tonight, it’s not too late.  Learn more here.



  1. Beautifully written Crystal!

    1. Thank you Stacy!

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