A friend and I were talking about life. I asked her who she goes to for support. Who is in her inner circle.
She started naming all the people who help her with childcare when she’s in a bind and other types of physical support.
What I was wondering was, who really knows her. Who could sit with her in silence and hold her hand? Who knows her well enough to call her bluff with an “Okay, now how are you really doing?” when she’s not holding it together as well she’s pretending.
We eventually got there.
But it reminded me that our lives are run by our to-do lists. When we think of who supports us, we instantly think of whoever helps us check things off the list. The friend who picks up the coffee, advises on real estate, the friend we turn to for fashion advice, the parents who can help with the kids, the friends who are always ready for a GNO. . . they are there for us.
They fill in all the little gaps in our day.
I’m interested to know, though, which friend you call when you’re just feeling a little down?
Who do you trust with your heart when it’s breaking?
Who knows your dream for the future, down to every last detail?
Who can you send a crazy weird emoji text to and they instantly laugh out loud, knowing exactly what’s up?
Whose house can you show up at unannounced and it’s not even weird?
Life is busy. It’s hard. It flies by so fast.
You need some friends who really know you.
Husbands and boyfriends count as one, but they can’t be the only one.
You need at least a couple of friends you could text, and they’d show up, no matter what’s going on in their lives.
Friends you really know.
We are designed for community.
If you have your inner circle all figured out, good for you. Reach out to them today. Remind them you’re there, thinking of them. Tell them how your heart is doing right now, this day.
You know you’re always grateful when you do.
If you don’t have a friend or two like this, start to build those relationships today. It’s probably easier and harder than you think, but it’s worth it. Start by reaching out with a text, just to check in on someone. I’m betting you’ll be surprised by their response.
Then do it again.
Be that friend who cares enough to really get to know them, even in the busy, rushed dailyness of life.
You’ll be grateful for where it leads.
Do it. Now.
To more love,
P.S. Our beta app is still running and being used every day as a thread of connection like the one I’m talking about. I’m personally learning more and more about my inner circle and feeling more connected to them than ever before. It does exactly what we thought it would do and I am so grateful! If you haven’t tried it out, you can learn more and sign up for a 20 day challenge with your friends at friendshipchallenge.com.