I was just telling someone in passing last week, “Thankfully, I rarely get sick. The last time I remember being sick was when I got the flu on my 40th birthday trip.” As soon as the words slipped out of my mouth, I thought, “Well that might not have been the smartest thing I’ve ever said.” I’m not superstitious, not one iota, but I wasn’t naming and claiming health. It had a tone of pride to it.
Pride comes before a fall.
Over the weekend, I was achy and feeling so tired. It was supposed to be Christmas decorating boot camp around here, but I wasn’t feeling it at all. We pushed through and got it all done, but not with our usual gusto. In fact, I somehow talked my family into picking out a five foot tree instead of our usual ten foot tree. I showed them pictures of lovely “table top trees” on Pinterest and in no time flat, it was the five foot tree for the win.
It was feeling like a Christmas success, until Monday rolled around.
I was feeling worse and worse throughout the day. By dinner, I was out. I had fever and it was really not a good thing. I went to bed at nine, slept through my usual blogging hour, and dragged myself out of bed at 6:45 to get the kids off to school. At which time, I loaded up on the homeopathic remedies and the very best trick in the flu arsenal, Advil Cold & Sinus. Throughout the day, I was convinced I was getting better, until the evening came and proved me very, very wrong. It was bed at 8:30 and wrestling all night long with the hot, then cold, achy fun of the flu.
When my alarm clock sounded this morning, I decided to get up and write.
Laying in that bed any longer didn’t feel like it was helpful. But mostly, I missed you. I could feel the weight of my commitment to write to you. There have been a couple of days lately that my schedule has been so off, I’ve not been able to write and it kills me. I feel like I’m not holding up my end of the deal.
You know what’s ironic about that?
I write to encourage you toward grace and love, for yourself and others. Yet, I have such a hard time showing it to myself. These past few crazy weeks of my life have reminded me that I am not Wonder Woman even when I try to convince myself I am. This extra-busy season of the year is a relentless reminder that we can’t show up for others, unless we’re showing up for ourselves. Taking care of ourselves has to be our top priority. I can’t do everything I want to do well, all at the same time.
And neither can you.
I clearly needed that reminder this week and will continue to need it over the next couple of weeks. I’m guessing you do to. Your to-do list is probably long. And it all needs to be done. I get it.
Have lots of grace with yourself. Let go of the things you can’t control. Rest. Repeat.
You’re wonderful, AND at the end of the day you’re still human.
Let’s leave Wonder Woman on the big screen and move through the next couple of weeks with loads of grace for ourselves and each other.
to more love,