In my snippets of quiet space this week, between the laptop and the phone calls, I’ve been listening to Brené Brown chat with Jen Hatmaker on her For The Love podcast. It’s so fabulous to be able to listen in on a conversation between those two. They’re talking authentically about all the things and it just makes my heart so happy. But right up near the very beginning, Brené stopped me in my tracks. She was talking about how she ended up becoming a “shame researcher”.
It all started with connection.
“When you ask people to tell you a story about love and connection, they tell you a story about hurt and loss. The only way they can talk about it, is by telling a story of disconnection.” ~ Brené Brown
I stopped the track. Is this true? No way. We all have stories of love to share. Don’t we?
She went on to share that these stories of disconnection led her straight into shame, “The hardest thing about being truly connected is feeling like you are worthy of connection, love and belonging.”
She’s right. (as if that were ever in question) If we’re not paying attention, its human nature to listen to the negative soundtrack playing on repeat in our minds. The one that is full of all the stories reminding us why we don’t deserve love and connection. We have that noise bombarding us all day long if we’re not intentional about replacing it.
This is why we need our girlfriends.
Of course, it’s also exactly where faith begins as well. Our hearts are designed to live in connection with each other. We need our closest friends to look us in the eyeballs and remind us who we are, on the days we have forgotten. On the days when life is busy and we’re doggie paddling hard, just to keep our heads above water.
We need to see our sisters who believe in us cheering us on.
This is why I write. This is why I host the Girls Night Out. This is everything.
We need each other.
There’s so much work to the healing of all the shame and guilt in our lives. I’m not at all pretending it can be fixed in a night out with the girls. But I certainly believe with my whole heart, that’s were it can start. With the kind of authenticity and vulnerability that can only happen in person. Eyeball to eyeball. Hand in hand.
“Everyone wants to know how we get to connection, authenticity, joy, and courage. But no one wants to talk about what gets in the way of those things, and what we have to walk through to get there.” ~ Brené (from the podcast again)
With my whole heart, I want to see women living in true connection, walking in joy and courage. Don’t you? Don’t you want that for your girlfriends, your sisters, your mother, your daughter?
What about for yourself?
You deserve it.
You are worthy of that kind of connection, love and belonging.
Surround yourself with women who remind you that’s true.
to more love,
Image cred: Meggie Taylor Photography of our “Me too” connection activity at last month’s GNO. We’re only 2 weeks away from your next chance to join us. Check it out today.