Why not “fitting in” can be a really good thing

Danielle Mcclelland, not fitting in~ Crystal Gornto | HeartStoriesI had coffee with my beautiful friend Danielle last week.  For us, it was the last day of school and we wanted to squeeze in one good mama conversation before summer.  She is one of those friends that I don’t get to spend much time with, but when I do, I know it’s going to be good.

Danielle is obviously beautiful on the outside.  But her personality, her mind and her heart make her even more beautiful on the inside.   Even though the last two years have been unexpectedly more difficult than she could have ever dreamed, she carries on.  With a grateful heart and that beautiful smile.

Always that smile.  

As we talked, somehow we got on the topic of not fitting in.  We told stories about our younger selves and never feeling like we were part of the “in” crowd.  Though it seems like those should have been painful memories, they made us both laugh, at first.  Then we quickly moved on to how profoundly those experiences shaped us into the women we are today.

We were “outsiders”.

In different ways and in different circumstances, of course.  But we both had a lot of seasons and experiences feeling like we were different from the rest of the crowd.  There was an obvious sense that we didn’t fit in.  And we’ve learned to be okay with that.

In fact, we laughed as we said that not fitting in is a really good thing.  

Feeling like you don’t fit in with the crowd teaches you to see and appreciate differences in people.  It teaches you empathy and compassion for others who are on the outside.  It gives you eyes to see things that the crowd, can so easily miss.

It forces you to find yourself.  To figure out what makes you unique and learn to appreciate those things.  It teaches you courage.

It teaches you that you are strong and you can do hard things.

So if you or someone you love, is going through a season of not fitting in, hear me, please.

Not fitting in can be a really good thing.

Sure, it’s painful in the moment.  No doubt.

But it’s making you who you’re meant to be.  

It’s teaching you things you could never learn, in the safety and comfort of the “inside”.

Just like Danielle, you were made for more.

to more love,


Leave a Reply

More Blog Posts
to Love ...