While we were sitting in standstill traffic the other day, the boys noticed a glittery bright purple car in the lane ahead of us. “That’s so cool! Mom hurry up! Get up next to that car!” Right. Let me just hover right on over there boys. They were completely smitten at the sight of a car painted entirely in purple glitter. (gotta love the McLovin sticker on the window) In all their years, they’d never seen anything quite like that.
So naturally, they were dying to see who was driving!
Just a few days before, we’d seen a huge, very pink, pick up truck, followed by a very similar conversation (and attempt to chase). I love the childlike joy about the fact that they thought those cars were cool. While their minds were reeling with ideas of all the cool things you could do with car paint, I have to admit, in my more “mature”, socialized mind I was thinking, that takes guts.
You have to be pretty sure of yourself to commit to something like that.
But why? When did we get so “mature” that we decided standing out was such a bad thing? When did we decide it was better to look like everyone else? When did we decide to mute our colors, hold our tongues, and hide our creativity rather than displaying it up for all to see?
We decided after a few distinct experiences that taught us that standing out can be painful.
Our more “mature” brains think it’s better to blend in, because over all our years, we’ve learned it’s safer. Somewhere in late elementary or early middle school, the voices of the critics became just loud enough to make us second-guess any inclination to stand out. We thought, “If no one notices, no one can make fun.”
That story eventually turns into the lie that, “If no one sees me, I won’t hurt.”
Which is the same lie that keeps us closed off from meaningful relationships. It keeps us doing work that doesn’t fill us up. It keeps us stuck, still to this day, with dreams locked up in our hearts. When in reality, the opposite is true.
“In the absence of connection, there is always suffering.” ~ Brené Brown
Not allowing yourself to be fully known will cause you more pain than standing out ever could. It turns out that softening your edges and hiding your colors doesn’t protect you from pain. It only insulates you from joy.
In the words of our beloved Dr. Seuss, “Why fit in when you were born to stand out?”
You were born to stand out.
Stop trying to fit in.
to more love,
Crystal
P.S. We’ve designed our Laughter Yoga Girls Night Out to facilitate some of that childlike laughter and joy you might have locked away years ago. Join us if you’re local.
But if you even if can’t join us in person at the event, be sure to tune into our Facebook page on Monday morning. We’re going live with a little sample laughter yoga session with Claire to give you a taste of the kind of laughter you’ll experience in 2 weeks on September 7th. It’s sure to be a hoot!
