Last Saturday, Scott and Oakley had big plans to go explore in the creek while Noah and I were still asleep. But first, Scott needed to make some plans in the backyard with a landscaper. When I walked out to the front with my cup of tea, Oakley was patiently sitting in the jeep with the music on, just waiting. He got out, we had our good morning hug and talked for a while. He went inside to get some water and emerged with a mischievous smile on his face and Noah’s ghillie suit in his hand.
He wanted to play a prank on Dad.
So I helped him get it all on, over the cast and all. Then he quickly laid down on the concrete near the drivers side car door to wait, in hope to surprise Scott when he walked over. We decided I would be the lookout and clear my throat when Dad was heading his way. He waited. . . and he waited. Apparently, the conversation Scott was having with the landscaper had taken a turn into a perplexing issue about the slope and grading of the yard. 
It didn’t appear that he would be coming around the corner any time soon.
I knew Oaks was having a tough time breathing under there, so I encouraged him to get up and take a break from his perch. At first, he would not budge. He was waving me off, just wanting to hold his spot. Finally, he agreed to take a little break to breathe, so he just sat his head up. Then he needed to move around, so he got up from his spot and walked around for a minute.
The two of us laughed hysterically, but very quietly with anticipation, the entire time.
Finally, Scott started walking toward the gate so Oaks got back in position with his head down, ready to pull the prank. It only worked to a slight degree, as you might imagine. But we all laughed a lot and it added fun and spontaneity to our Saturday morning routine.
It may not have been exactly what Oaks was hoping for, but it created a perfect moment of connection.
It isn’t lost on me that if Oaks hadn’t risked getting up, breathing and moving around a little bit, he might not have made it to the finish line. If he did make it, he probably would have been hot, sweaty, and cranky from holding that position for so long. It was precisely because he allowed himself to let go of his expectations on that moment, that he was able to not only receive what he needed (air and movement), but also to enjoy the final moment for exactly what it was.
“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. When I let go of what I have, I receive what I need.” Lao Tzu
You’re probably not holding your breath in anticipation of your next prank, but maybe you’re holding your breath with a death grip on a different kind of expectation in your life right now. Maybe this story and the cool fall air are beckoning for you to let something go.
Maybe you need to let go of who you once were.
Maybe you need to let go of who you think you should be. Maybe you need to let go of a person or situation you’ve been holding an expectation for. Maybe you just need to let go of the pose you’re holding and give yourself a chance to breathe.
Autumn, with all it’s magnificent beauty, is the season of allowing the trees to show us how beautiful it is to let things go.
Let go, so you can become who you might be.
to more love,
Crystal
