I read a quick post yesterday by Jen Hatmaker about how she is currently making “friend piles”. She’s separating her “Sometimes Friends (friends, sort of)” from her rare “Ride or Die” friends. She talks about the vast differences between the two groups, how the Sometimes Friends are great people, doing good things when it’s easy and fun, but they seem to disappear when things get sticky. The Ride or Die Friends are the ones you share your full self with, who are always by your side, no matter what. She says, “If you have them, hang on for dear life and save your best, highest, most loyal space for them, because they are certainly saving it for you.”
This is coming from a girl who knows.
She’s walking a daunting path that only allows for Ride or Die Friends right now. Sometimes Friends seem to disappear into the woods when you’re on that path. I bet you’ve been there before. You’ve been so busy with work, or overwhelmed with life, that you’ve not been able to show up as often as you’d like. Or maybe you’ve made a choice or a change in your life that caused your Sometimes Friends to head for the hills.
It’s okay, that’s what Sometimes Friends do.
But it hurts, because deep inside we all have that fear that if people really knew us, they wouldn’t love us. That we’d be rejected or judged in some way. It’s just a normal part of the human experience. But what you need most, is a group of friends, just a few, who really know you, and love you anyway. The people who will hold you up when you can’t remember what to hold onto.
Even if the rest of the world found out all your faults and secrets, they’d still be standing there right by your side.
Even if you’re in the busiest season known to woman, and you can’t show up for them, even though it’s the one thing your heart desperately needs the most. They get it, and they walk with you through it. They check in on you, and understand when it takes you a while to respond. They cheer you on from the sidelines, their back porches and in their prayers. And you do the same for them.
Do you have those people?
Who are your Ride or Die friends? Really. Name them. Write them down. Pop them in the comments. Whatever you have to do, take 30 seconds to name them. It won’t take long, I promise. There aren’t that many.
Hang on to them for dear life, love them well.
Get eyeball to eyeball with them as often as humanly possible. Hug their necks. Love on their children. Talk on the phone. Voice text while you’re in the bathroom. Doesn’t matter how, invest in their lives. It’s an investment you won’t regret.
Ride or Die.
to more love,
P.S. Of course, if you’re in North Texas, an EASY way to invest in these ride or die friends is to send them this link to our done-for-you Girls Night Out (cooking class) In the Kitchen, one week from tonight. Tell them to get a sitter and meet you there. Ride or Die. That’s what this whole thing is about.