The surrogate sister


Sister, friend

Facebook is an interesting phenomena of our age.  You can read about and watch one friend experiencing the biggest joy of their life and then scroll down to see another friend’s world collapsing around them.  It can be quite a roller coaster of emotions.

Sometimes it’s hard to know what to do. 

Do you press the thumbs up so they know you saw it, even when it’s a post that’s a total thumbs down?  Do you comment and say you’re sorry when there are no words that will help?  Do you say “Happy Birthday” amid a slew of lines repeating the same?

Scrolling through Facebook last night, I was reminded of how important real friendship is in our most important moments.

Do you have a friend who can be called on day and night?  Literally called on?  I don’t mean the friend you can only call when you want to go out and have a good time.

I mean the one you call when your whole world is caving in.  

The one who shows up with food (or chocolate) and a heart full of love to just sit with you, and listen.   The one who calls, even if it’s a little bit awkward and there are no words to say.  The one who makes you eat, even if you don’t feel like it and doesn’t let you keep eating (or drinking), even when you really want to.  This is the friend who hasn’t forgotten your pain in a week or two, when the rest of the world has moved on.

She’s probably also the friend who totally gets it when you just want to let the wind blow your dress up.  

She doesn’t only laugh at you, she joins you.  She makes it seem normal and fun.

She’s the sister, who maybe isn’t blood.

I hope you have a friend like that.  If you do, cherish her.  Show her your gratitude.  Tag her in this post, so she knows you know.

If you don’t have a friend like that, there’s only one way to find her.

Be her.  

Show up for the women in your life.  Be there in the big moments, even when it’s hard, awkward and uncomfortable.  Celebrate and cheer their successes, even when you’re not experiencing your own.

When you become what you’re looking for, you’ll discover you’ve been surrounded all along.

to more love,


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