The difference between connecting and socializing

Megan Kitt, founder of Tuli, HeartStories

This beautiful lady is one of my heroes.  She lives in Japan.  Megan owns and operates a business between Uganda and the US.  Tuli fights poverty through fashion by creating sustainable jobs in Uganda.  If she looks familiar, she probably is.  You’ve met her here before.

She’s incredibly inspiring.

Getting to know her was one of the biggest joys of  2015 for me.  She’s a true friend.  A sojourner on this journey with me.  We got a chance to catch up on the phone yesterday and as always, it left me feeling connected and supported, like only true friendship can do.  One of the things we discussed is the difference between “socializing” and truly connecting.

There’s a very apparent and deep need in our world for true connection between women.  

What we’re looking for isn’t more social activity.  We’re looking for empathy, for someone to look us in the eyes and say, “Me too“.   It’s also a need for support, for that same person to say, “I’ll go with you.  Let’s do this, together.”

We try to fill that deep need with socialization and it doesn’t work.

We spend more time on Facebook and Instagram.  We post deeper, more personal information.  We go to networking events and parties.  We join the gym, the PTA and our local church.

But no matter how hard we try, we can’t seem to extract connection from all our socializing. 

I popped the word “Connection” into the Thesaurus and here’s what it said:   

  • person who aids another in achieving a goal
  • something that connects/links
  • something that communicates/relates

Yep!  I’d say that’s what we’re looking for more of, wouldn’t you?

When I did the same with the word “socialize” it only says this:

  • be friendly at gatherings

Meh.  I don’t think we need much more of that.

The difference is profound, yet we still try to find connection amid all our socialization.

If you’re looking to connect, you probably need to act like it.  You could start by looking for ways to link up and support another woman in achieving her goals.  And COMMUNICATE, not just talk.  You can actually relate to each other just by saying the words,  I’ve been there, not just thinking them.  

Are you looking for more connection or is socialization working just fine?  

I’d love to hear your thoughts.   Comment to let me know.    I want to help you achieve that goal.

to more love,


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