Tears of Thankfulness

These past few years have been some of the hardest I have had to endure.

In 2012 I was diagnosed with a debilitating and incurable disease called Ulcerative Colitis, after months of intense suffering. My life following the diagnosis consisted of doctor’s visits, hospital stays and my life’s only goal became survival.

This is a complete 180 from the person I previously was.. An ambitious go-getter living in Southern California working in the cut throat world of the music industry.

I had dreams. Big ones.

I had a vision for my life and for the world, and I would stop at nothing to make it happen. I worked long nights, early mornings, ate junk food on the go, and lived in a constant state of stress. I had lost sight of what was important and began ignoring the cry in my heart to slow down and get my priorities aligned. Well, my body did the work for me and hit the brakes!

I had no choice, but to listen.

Once I received the incurable life sentence, my world came crashing down. I felt like a failure, stuck, and left in the dust as everyone moved forward around me.

I thought my dreams were over.

Little did I know, this illness would GIVE me my dreams, repackaged and more on purpose than ever before.

A fire was born in me to find answers, to heal, to live my life and to not let this illness stop me.

I sought answers and relearned how to live my life. I learned the importance of caring for my body, what to eat, how to love myself and what mattered in life.

More than anything, I was molded into who I was supposed to be, who I wanted to be.

One early morning, 2 years later, after finding healing and growing like I never had before, I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror.

I was like an outsider looking in. All of a sudden the last couple years flashed through my mind and I began to see the blessing in every single moment. From the darkest nights of disease to the emotional demons that came with feeling like I had lost it all.

This disease had been a true blessing in disguise.

I cried tears of thankfulness over who I had become, the strength that was birthed in me through it, and for the story of hope I now have to share with the world. The brutal pain I had endured over those years was not enough to break me down. I had experienced the worst, and now life tasted sweeter.

I was more grateful, more compassionate, and more certain of who I was.  I no longer recognized the person I was before.

I was molded into who I was meant to be.

I learned loud and clear, that when you allow the fire to refine you, you will be amazed at the masterpiece that comes out on the other side.

Your story and the challenges you go through are not there to break you, they are there to strengthen you, if you allow it.

Every hardship that you go through is another chapter in your legacy, in your story. It is an opportunity to change lives, to make an impact and to be the human being you dream of becoming.

Growth hurts. It’s uncomfortable. It’s miserable at times.

But what awaits on the other side, is what makes it all worth it in the end.

You are a masterpiece and every scar and bruise you collect is there to teach you, to grow you and guide you where you need to go.

If you look closely, every trial you go through becomes a beautiful piece of your story.