Stop looking for happiness in the same place you lost it

It’s officially football season in Texas and for the first time in a long time, this mama won’t be sitting on the football field every Saturday watching my boy play.  Not because I’ve simply decided not to go watch the games.  But because my boy, who was so incredibly passionate about the sport has decided he’s no longer interested.

He’s always been a super active kid. 

He’s loved playing sports like basketball, soccer, tennis, and golf.  I always felt lucky that we had somehow avoided football because I’d heard the horror stories of broken legs and concussions from high school football in Texas.  But one day after playing football at recess, he came home looking for a football.  After finding one in the garage, he never put it down.  It turned out, he had a great little arm for passing it.

We watched him come alive throwing that ball.  

It was like he had a secret talent we’d never known about because I was busy trying to pretend football didn’t exist in our family.  He was on fire with passion for throwing that ball and he wanted to win those game more than anything else.  He was as happy as a lark playing that game.  But then one day, without warning, our little QB who carried a football with him everywhere he went and literally could not get enough of the sport, just put the ball down.

He lost his passion and we were baffled.  

We kept trying to help him get it back.  We tried training camps and skills courses.  We watched games as a family.  We even made him go through the combine in the spring thinking by fall, his passion would be back.  He got drafted to an incredible winning team and yet, when fall rolled around, still no passion for football.  So we talked with the coach who (thankfully) agreed we shouldn’t try to make him play if his heart isn’t in it.

That was the end of that. 

Since then, he’s playing other sports for fun, but he’s found passion in creating things.  He’s started a couple of businesses with his best friend.  He’s learned to edit videos and started a YouTube channel.  He’s finding so much joy in creating things, it’s been wonderful to watch his passion emerge in new ways.

He may change his mind one day and come back to football. 

Of course, we don’t know what will happen there, but it was a great lesson for this mama.  Just like the old quote by an unknown, but apparently very wise author:

“Stop looking for happiness in the same place you lost it.”

The girl you used to be?  Stop looking for her.  Embrace the parts of her that grew into the wise woman you are today.  That hobby you used to love?  Maybe it’s not where you’ll find happiness as the person you are today.   The job that used to bring you joy?  Maybe it’s time to shift your focus.  The relationship that was so easy and carefree?  That was young love.  Stop hoping that will come back.  Start looking for a new more mature joy, built on a long history of love and forgiveness.

Give yourself permission and freedom to be someone new.

Besides, even if you found that happiness you lost, it would never be the same as it once was.

to more love,


p.s. – Obviously, the Football 101 Girls Night Out this Thursday night will be a little different for me than it might have once been.  But I’m diving in.  Just in case it shows back up again for him, but mostly because it opens up a whole new world of conversations for me with my husband, my dad, and all the other football fans in my life.  Even if you don’t know one single football fan (ha!).   You’ll find joy there, I can promise you that.  Get registered here, today.

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