I get goofy at Girls Night Out. I think it’s mostly because once the night begins, all the planning and preparing that encompasses my entire month, is over. All the curve balls, surprises out of left field and landmines have been navigated. We made it to the night. There’s nothing else I can do to prepare. All I can do is release all the dreaming, preparation, planning and expectations, in a prayer for peace and presence, doing what’s mine to do, no more, no less. That’s when I find my center.
When the moment has arrived, and it’s time to party.
Last Thursday was no different. At the beginning of the night, while the ladies were enjoying a scavenger hunt to enter their tickets into the drawing, I was goofing off in the corner. I was dancing a jig, while shaking up their raffle tickets in this gorgeous bowl (that I am eyeing heavily for my kitchen), when Angela caught me on a Boomerang.
It was clearly time for me to play.
But that doesn’t actually mean there were no more surprises. Our PA system was a complete failure. It crackled and blanked out. I had to talk so loud over that beautiful crowd of women that I left almost completely hoarse, and the ladies in the back could still barely hear a thing. While I was not-so-effortlessly navigating that, the setting sun was pouring through the window, directly on me. It was like a fiery golden spotlight, melting me into one giant pool of sweat. I did all I could to make it work, what was mine to do. No more, no less.
Each attendee still got out of the night what was hers, I have no doubt.
Our tendency is to think that if we prepare enough, read enough, learn enough, practice enough and work hard enough, we will master the thing. That somehow life will suddenly get easier. That things will go off without a hitch and there will be no chaos, uncertainty or unknown. But that’s not real life.
That’s not the way our human connection works.
Connection between people is filled with spontaneity. It’s full of texture, nuance, context, twists, and turns. It’s not about controlling the circumstances in your life. It’s certainly not about mastering the relationships in your life, although it’s a good thing to learn to show up differently. It’s also not about getting a better handle on how to do it all. Because the waves of life will continue to come. As soon as one wave seems to die down, another is building behind it. Some waves might have more of a lull between them, but they will continue to roll in. There are certainly calmer seasons. There are also hurricane seasons.
That is simply the cadence of life and connection.
Either way, the mindset is the same.
Instead of trying to control everything around you, the real power lies in finding your center, amid the waves.
Today, when you see a wave rolling in, and you’re not sure you’re prepared enough, strong enough, or smart enough to handle it . . .
Decide to consciously let go of the fear of the unknown.
Take a deep breath. Look for the opportunity. Find your center amid the waves.
Release your expectations on the result.
Show up with all you’ve got. Then do what’s yours to do.
No more. No less.
to more love,
P.S. As is all of life, this is a process of learning. I’m constantly seeking to learn and this specific lesson comes to me over and over through the wise words of my beloved coach Michelle James. If you’re seeking guidance for your path of creative work that is holistically generative, she’s a fabulous resource!
P.S.S. I just LOVE this pic because it turned out, the winner of the $200 (!!) gift card to Oasis Accents is standing right over my right shoulder. (Yay Kristi!!)