My Marriage Wasn’t Made for Quarantine

a woman with her husband as he kisses her on the forehead

I don’t think my marriage was made for quarantine.

Here’s the deal: my husband and I work well as introverted/extroverted partners because I can usually get my social fix elsewhere. While he is completely content solo, I crave socialization. He’s self-assured and shops on the same aisles of the grocery store; I like a smorgasbord of spontaneity.

So during normal, non-distancing times, I go out with my girlfriends and he happily golfs alone.

Everyone’s cup is filled.

Now, due to a national pandemic, I’m having to rely on him to meet a lot of my needs and it’s never been more apparent that we walk at two different paces.

My growing frustration isn’t my husband’s fault. I am well aware of who I married and his countless other strengths. But this time together has proven what I’ve assumed for years: one person cannot possibly complete you.

Often times we marry expecting the following from our partner:

Companionship, social status, economic support, family. We ask them to be our best friend, passionate lover, confidant, intellectual equal, co-parent and soul mate.

How exhausting and unattainable! A relationship is very important but it is one relationship. We were designed for community.

So if you’re feeling like me—a bit uprooted and lonely—know that it’s not the fault of one.

You’re just missing the many who fill your cup too.

five girls on a cruise boat balcony wearing matching robes and hats

To More Love,

Stephanie

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