Mornings are often tough for us. I have one baby who is full of energy, rushing around, demanding attention and needing everything done….STAT! My other baby moves at the speed of a pot-smoking sloth (Ha! Like that?). This is really NOT an exaggeration. It takes a lot of mental energy to give them both the mothering they need in the morning and make it out the door without feeling like I’ve had my finger in a light socket.
I’m learning how to better manage myself and I’m really trying to help them learn how to better manage themselves, but yesterday, oooh, it was tough.
It’s no coincidence that after I wrote the post about resentment and connecting with friends, I went out to help the boys get ready for school and my nerves were shot. I had a friend coming over for coffee and strategy right after drop-off and of course, the house was a wreck.
I had a patience level of about negative 5 and let’s just say, Mama didn’t make great choices with my words and tone. On the drive to school, as I often do, I said, Hey guys, I’m really sorry. I’m not proud of how I talked to you. It’s not okay to treat you that way. Will you forgive me? (cue cracking voice and tears welling in my eyes)
They were really hurt and mad. Understandably so. So I put on my big girl (mommy) panties and said, It’s okay. I know you’re hurt and mad. I want you to forgive me and for us to be good before you go to school, but I will wait. And we drove on.
We skidded into the school parking lot at the very last second and my sweet friend Toni was standing at the door with another teacher. She looked in at me and said, Are you okay? . . .and that was all it took. The waterworks flowed. It was ugly. I couldn’t even talk. When I finally wiped my eyes, there were now three teachers standing at my car.
I was mortified.
Still not able to get my words out well, I said, I’m okay. Really. It’s just that I wasn’t very kind to those boys this morning and I wish it had been different. They said nice things that made me feel somewhat normal and I drove away. Of course I sent a text to Toni to explain my emotional outburst and she said, Girl, me too.
I felt better almost instantly.
When Jennifer came over (* was waiting on my porch when I arrived a frazzled mess*) there were a lot more “Me too” kind of moments. By the time she left, I felt normal again. No, I felt so much better than normal. I felt energized and ready to conquer the day.
Yesterday, I shared how talking with a friend about your anger can keep it from turning to resentment inside of you. Today, you can learn from my mistakes, the importance of admitting when you’re wrong, asking for forgiveness and processing it with a friend.
We all make bad choices. We do and say things that hurt others. (If you’re sitting there thinking to yourself that you don’t…. I have a book for you sister.)
It’s our job to remind each other that we aren’t alone.
So today, just in case you’ve made a mistake and need to hear it, Me too. You’re not alone. Say you’re sorry, get back up and start again. I’ll keep starting again too.
You’ve got this.
to more love,
P.S. Just in case, a great book on this topic is Mistakes Were made (but not by me) ~ Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson