I saw this quote randomly on Pinterest and instantly knew we needed to chat quickly about it. This one concept has helped me, maybe more than any, in my own mental game of parenting. I was never a big fan of the “punishment” model. I’m at my very best as a parent, when my choices are shaped by Love & Logic .
When I began to understand this concept, I became not only a better parent, but a better human.
When one of the boys treating is me poorly, or not doing what’s expected of him, if I can shift my perspective from looking at their poor behavior to looking beyond it, the whole atmosphere can change. When they sense that I’m paying attention to what’s going on, on the inside, they tend to soften a bit on the outside. It doesn’t let them off the hook of responsibility for their choices and it’s certainly not a magic wand to change their behavior.
Instead, it changes me.
It changes my response. I become less tyrant, more partner. When I can remember that one little shift in mindset, I’m instantly more loving, compassionate. . . and strong. It puts me in control of my emotions and responses. I strengthens my relationships, which inevitably gives me more influence. It sets me up to be a loving guide and a lifelong friend.
This is a concept applies to all our relationships.
Think about how your life would change if you practiced looking beyond the poor behaviors of others, to understanding that there’s often a struggle, on the inside, fueling their poor choices. It’s looking for their humanity, instead of reacting to their behavior. It’s not, in any way, a hall pass for poor behavior. It’s a mental practice that sets you up for a healthy relationship instead of a nagging conflict.
As you go out into your world today, keep in mind that everyone you meet is struggling with something. . . and it’s affecting their behavior.
If you can meet them there, life will be a whole lot richer for you both.
to more love,