Love is getting a bad rap


Last night, as I was getting ready for bed, I was reflecting on what to write about this morning.  I scribbled, “Love is getting a bad rap” in the notes on my phone.  The next thing I know, I was singing. . . “Shot to the heart and you’re to blame.  You give love a bad name.”  I found it humorous because I was only 10 when this song first came out.  And I wasn’t allowed to listen to rock music, especially not hard rock or glam metal.   So I laughed about it and went to sleep.

But I woke up thinking about it still.  

So guess what?  You get to see Jon Bon Jovi this morning! (you’re welcome)

It’s just too fitting right now.  Jon sang this song about a lover with an angel’s smile, selling heaven, but putting him through hell.  It’s seems to me, that our social media webs of late, have been like this love.  They’ve entangled us in a debate about what Love really is. There are so many lines and trip wires, misguidedly set up by people we care about that we don’t even know where it’s safe to stand, much less to try to cross over.

In some ways it feels like we are falling apart.  

But I know we’re not.  We’re just feeling things deeply right now.  Some are busting with pride, while others are hurt, and angry.  Most of us are scared or concerned about the future.  It’s clearly the recipe for a deathly explosion.  When we’re prideful, hurt, angry, and scared, its human nature to defend with judgement.

It’s easier to follow laws and critique humans than it is to try to figure out how to love each other.

So, I think it’s fitting today to return to a truth I think most of us can agree on, what Love really is.  Even if you’ve been hurt by someone promising heaven, but putting you through hell.  Hear me well.  That is not love.  It’s fear mixed with a million other things, but it’s not love.

This is what real Love looks like.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 

If it’s not this, It’s not love.

So before you go writing Love off, on the basis of some tangled up humans, check it against this list.  Maybe it’s just human pride, fear, and anger showing up in Love’s place.

And before you go calling your words and actions Love, would you check them against this list?

None of us do it perfectly.

But we can all show up and try.

to more Love,


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