I know everybody has their “season”. Some love spring with all it’s beauty, bursting forth with new life. Some are into the golden sun and heat of the summer. Some love the chill of winter, with its fireplaces and heavy coats. Fall is certainly my season. Rolling down a hill covered in freshly fallen golden, orange and brown leaves sounds like a fairytale to me. The boys finally being cold enough to snuggle under a blanket with me, rather than clawing to their way to air out on top, but not so cold that no one ever wants to get up. Sipping hot tea during the day, instead of just the early morning hours. I could go on and on about all the things I love about fall. I’ll spare you and get to the point. But before I do, I would be remiss to not pay homage to the horrendous, rust orange bridesmaid dresses that adorned my sisters and dearest friends on my wedding day as they walked through acorns and freshly fallen leaves to reach the altar of the church.
No really, fall is my thing.
Even before the annual holiday card pictures that show the astounding growth of the boys year over year, their little costumed figures make their rounds to trick or treat and I can hardly stand it. Their costumes really seem to represent the stage of life they are in, whether they were chosen by them, or by me. From their red “Thing 1 and Thing 2 costumes, being pulled along in the red wagon, when they were 1 and 2. To this particular year, when they both wanted to be Robin Hood, I was Maid Marian, and Scott was Friar Tuck (too bad we didn’t get a good family pic)! Up until recently, we would always pick a theme and dress in costume together as a family. We’ve been everything from a family of spies, to the cast of Star Wars, and a lot of strange ones in-between.
But those days are long gone.
As I look back over the years of costumes, I see their little boy faces and costumes turning into teenagers, on the brink of becoming young men. A shift is happening. A shift that reminds me, that just like the seasons, life keeps moving on. Just like watching the trees let go of their leaves and hold on for new life during the winter, our lives are a dance of letting go, followed by holding on for new life through the darkness. Just like the days of the family costumes are gone, they’ve given birth to new life for us.
A new way of being as a family.
It’s becoming more of a friendship and a partnership, than a fairytale, centered around costumes and make-believe. We’re having big conversations, about real life, struggle, and what it means to grow up. Letting go of their innocent, precious baby boy faces, and all their baby boy dreams, brings a giant pang of sadness to my heart.
It also reminds me of the beauty that’s only possible in the letting go.
It’s only when we let go of the past that our hands are free to embrace what is to come. What often feels like a season of darkness and difficulty follows letting go, because that’s the reality of the way the seasons have to change. But let go anyway. Holding on to the past won’t bring the spring. Only the dormant season of winter can eventually bring forth the new life of the spring. What may feel like a slow death happening inside of you now, is making way for new life.
Open your hands and let it go.
Let it fall.
Just let it be.
Stop clinging to the what used to be.
Let your hands and your heart be free.
to more love,
Crystal
(This is the theme of our “Arranging for Autumn” GNO next week. If you want to embrace it with your besties while creating a gorgeous fall floral arrangement, don’t wait any longer. Reserve your seat today. )
