It’s not behind you

It's not behind you, it's ahead, HeartStoriesGrowing up, I watched people turning 40 with trepidation.  I witnessed fortieth birthdays, celebrated in over-the-hill parties, decked out with black veils and tombstones to imply the nearing loom of death.  The jest of the burial of the vibrant life that they once knew in exchange for the bleakness of the future.

As my 40th year rounded the corner, it seemed so strange to think of the future as the dark days.

Of course, it’s easy to look back to easier days.   It’s easy to remember days that were less busy, with less responsibility.   It’s easy to look back and long for what is behind.

But with age comes wisdom and I wouldn’t trade what I have now for what is behind me.  Not for one second.

Everything I really want is still ahead.  

It’s the depth and fullness of relationships that I fought for.  It’s the maturity of love I had to learn how to give.  It’s a home that holds memories, not things.  It’s the opportunity to care for others, not just myself.

It’s the wisdom of knowing what’s truly important.

As we move toward this new year, take a minute to think about what you’re longing for.  Is it something from the past?  If it is, it’s not there anymore.

What you’re looking for is still ahead.  

But it’s up to you.  You won’t find it if you’re walking backward, longing for what’s behind.  You have to turn around to see what’s ahead.

I can’t pretend to know your situation, the pain or joy of your past.  But I know that it is the past and all you can change is your future.  So stop telling yourself your best days are behind you.

What you’re looking for is still ahead. 

Make this the year you decide to create it.

to more love,



  1. My fourtieth birthday was one of my best because I decided to attack it for all the reasons you listed above. And I didn’t realize at the time that I would be starting over in my 60’s. I look forward to each new day and adventure and the opportunities to meet people like yourself and as you preach, build relationships. Life is the ultimate marathon and you may be required to perform your best at the end. Love your stuff!

    1. Love this Quay! Thank you.

      And I totally agree, the world would miss so much if we didn’t save the best for last.

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