Green means go, right?

What do you assume?This story is an embarrassing confession.

When I was 14, I thought I knew how to drive a car.   For some reason, I also thought that it was a good idea to sneak out of the house in my parent’s car and drive to go pick up friends.  This was obviously a very bad idea.

One day in particular, I remember having a car full of friends as we approached an intersection.  Remember, I’m only 14 and haven’t ever been to driver’s ed.  I had no official instruction on how to drive a car.

As we approach the light in the left turn lane, the light turned green.  Green means go.  So I went.  I turned left, full speed ahead.  Right at that moment, a station wagon came screeching though the intersection swerving to miss us.

It scared us to death.

We thought,  That crazy lady must not have been paying any attention at all. Clearly, we had a green light.  Whew. That was a close one.  (The other driver was fine, thank goodness.  She kept control and didn’t wreck)

Sadly, it wasn’t until a year later, in driver’s ed, I realized I could have killed my friends and a poor woman I’d never met.

All that time, I assumed it was my turn.  I assumed because the light was green I could turn left.  I assumed the other driver was at fault.

I assumed, until I learned the rules of driving.

Then I realized that green doesn’t always mean go.  Sometimes it means yield. Oops.

Today, I’d like to invite you to think about some of your assumptions.

We all have them.

We assume the person who just cut us off saw us and did it on purpose.  We assume our friend screened our call.  We assume the woman in the killer heals is as confident on the inside as she looks on the outside. We assume the teacher is just in a crabby mood.  We assume a 20% tip is enough.

We assume the person who made our shirt is being paid a fair wage and has good working conditions. We assume the food we eat is safe for our bodies.

Sometimes it’s easier to make an assumption and move on, than it is to take time to find out what’s really going on.

What have you assumed already today?

What might change if you looked a little closer, learned a little more?

You might learn that the person who cut you off was a little old lady, struggling to keep her independence, because if she loses her license she has to live in a government facility. Your friend was right in the middle of a huge fight with her husband and can’t find the nerve to call back.  The woman in the killer heals is fighting a daily battle to prove she’s enough.  The teacher woke up this morning, to her second miscarriage.  The server needed five more dollars to make rent tomorrow.

It’s certainly easier to assume, than it is to care enough to find out.

When we assume, it keeps us from feeling responsible to do something about it. We’re off the hook.

Look a little closer today.

What are you making assumptions about?

Take a second look.  Find out what’s really going on.  Read between the lines. Make room in your crammed schedule.

Learn a little more.  Give a little more.

Make one choice today that’s not based on an assumption.

To more love!



  1. So true Crystal!! Love your heart. You hit it right on! We have to step outside ourselves to see the whole picture. We have to open up and be teachable, just as you were when you attended drivers Ed.

    1. Thank you Melanie! That’s so true, being teachable is key.

  2. And how come I never knew this??? When you were 14??? (Oh my, the things I am learning now!) Ha!

    1. You knew about this Mom! I was grounded for an entire summer. 😉

  3. Crystal,
    Once again, you nailed it friend! Truth is we don’t want to ask, because then we might be responsible. Responsible to tip that 5 more dollars, etc….
    Food for thought for sure…..
    Love you!

    1. Thank you Toni! That responsibility piece is so true. Once we know, we are responsible for our response. Love you too!

  4. This is spot on. Particularly the assumptions we make about other people who have “wronged” us. I don’t always get it right, but I try really hard to give people the benefit of the doubt. When I do, it’s liberating and much less stressful! Nice piece.

    1. Thank you Jennifer! Yes, those assumptions of wrong can fester so quickly, creating so much needless hurt. Thank you for reading!

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