On a road trip with the boys in the middle of nowhere, we passed this quaint little church nestled just off the highway. I’m not really into architecture or particularly fascinated by church buildings, but for some reason I was drawn to it like a magnet. Much to the boys chagrin, I flipped a U-turn as soon as I could and we stopped to snap a photo.
I wanted to go inside, but I spared them.
On the heals of yesterday’s story about the cost of the exchange of moments life, and while I’m focused on all things self-care moving into next weeks girls night out, this is as good a time as any to talk about this building. I basically grew up in a church building (not like this one) with a lifetime of wonderful memories. I have no doubt, that experience forged me into the person I am. It’s were I learned love and forgiveness. It’s were my heart learned hope and joy.
But it was certainly not perfect.
There was hurt and pain. There were imperfect people, who wanted to do it right, but did it wrong. As a result, when I see this image, I’m reminded that there are many who associate this building with pain. They went, expecting to find their respite here, but found hurt instead.
Because this building was full of humans.
So while this image looks like respite to me, it could look like pain to you. If that’s the case, I’m so sorry. And I want you to know, It’s not to be ignored. Because, while you don’t have to go to a church, you do need a place in your life that feels safe. You need a place of peace and respite. A place that brings you hope and joy. A place to practice love and forgiveness with other imperfect people. Find your respite.
Make a point to go there often.
Maybe there’s not a place in your life where you feel safe. Maybe there’s hurt and pain associated with the places that are meant to bring you peace, community and comfort. Maybe the home you grew up in wasn’t nurturing or safe. Maybe church people broke your heart. Maybe the women at the yoga studio stabbed you in the back. Maybe the other moms at school excluded you.
Pay attention to that.
It’s a big deal. Don’t ignore it. Find someone to walk with you through that pain so you can heal it. Do the hard work of forgiveness, not for the people who hurt you, but for you.
“Forgiveness is the process of taking back, and healing our lives so we can truly live.” – Brené Brown
“To forgive is not just to be altruistic. it is the best form of self-interest.” – Desmond Tutu
People will continue to disappoint you. They will hurt you wherever you go. Don’t give them the power to take away your respite.
Forgive to find your respite.
to more love,