Far more loving

Brené Brown on Boundaries, The Work of the People

Tonight I fly out for an overnight trip to Washington DC to spend the day in a creative original facilitator workshop with my creativity coach, Michelle James.  I’m so excited to get this training straight from her, there just aren’t really any words.  I can’t wait to come back and share what I’ve learned in a way that will help you on your journey too!

In preparation this week, Michelle sent me a link to a video of Brené Brown talking about boundaries.

Talking about boundaries can feel loaded to some people.  In fact, you may have read that word and already checked out, mentally.  I know I want to.  The word itself signifies work and uncomfortable conversations.   Awkward moments with friends and family.

Eesh.  No thanks.

Well, of course, we know better.

We know that boundaries are good. We know that they protect us and the ones we love. It’s just that we probably don’t understand enough about them. That’s why I loved Brené’s little chat.  She summarizes boundaries to simply be about clarifying, “What’s okay for me and what’s not okay for me.”

That’s pretty easy.

But she goes on to say that . . .

Empathy is not empathy without boundaries.  That compassion isn’t compassion without boundaries.  Vulnerability isn’t vulnerability without boundaries.  Oh and this one was like a punch in the gut for me…

Generosity isn’t generous without boundaries.  

Ooooh, that one is so good. But they are all so true.   If we don’t set boundaries in our relationships, we are actually being selfish and not loving others with our best selves.  My favorite thing Brené said was this:

I am not as sweet as I used to be, but I am far more loving.  

Hmmmm, think on that for a minute.  I think a lot of us think we want to be perceived as sweet and kind, when what our hearts really want is to be more loving.  When what our families really need is for us to be more loving.  What our friends really need is for us to be more loving.

I’ve been thinking about it for a couple of days straight.

I want to be less sweet and more loving too.

What about you?

to more love,


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