Dreaming of a silent night

Yesterday, we got a handful of “sneak peek” images back from Vanessa Corral of last weeks Holiday Ready GNO.  I love seeing the first images that come through as it takes me back to the moments we shared together.  It often highlights some of the special small moments I missed or wasn’t a part of.

This is one of my very favs. 

I love it for so many reasons.  I love the two women in it, Laura and Libba.  I love that I know a little bit about their stories over the past year (because they both so courageously shared them with the group that night). Because of that, I love that they are resting, full-on, into a moment of meditation led by Karen Langley, our resident massage therapist and self care expert.  I love the memory of seeing (almost) everyone in the room that night quiet, peaceful and breathing.

That’s not a common occurrence for the ladies our community, unless we’re sleeping!

As I’ve been reflecting on what to share with you in these coming weeks around the holidays, there is this theme of anger that keeps coming to the forefront of my thoughts.  It’s coming through random funny quotes on Pinterest.  It’s come through pointed emails discussing the struggle of moms and anger.  And of course, it’s coming through my own life.   When I saw this one particular quote on anger with an image of a woman meditating, I immediately snort-laughed because I know how true it is for me:

“I am practicing mindfulness, compassion and loving kindness, so don’t piss me off. “

The pace, and stress of all the responsibilities we carry through the holiday season is a lot to navigate.  When we’re busy, sleep deprived, stressed and overloaded, if there’s even a tinge of unresolved anger underneath, (you know the kind, when you feel like you’re doing EVERYTHING and no one seems to notice) it can come out in the most unexpected of ways.  It happens to me when I have a plan for remaining calm while the puberty hormones are raging through the rafters, and I do it!  All afternoon, I’m whispering about consequences and staying loving, without sarcasm. (#winning) But then, Scott comes home, we immediately have a disagreement about how to discipline the kids, and I completely lose my cool in a matter of seconds.

It feels like it comes completely out of left field.  

I’ve been in the zone, working my tail off to maintain the peace, and one minor thing sets me off completely.  Then it’s followed by frustration with myself, regret and the barrage of self-judgement that accompanies the mom-guilt already firmly in place.  It’s like the whole thing derails in a matter of moments.

If you’ve been there this week, can I get an “amen”?

If you have, I want to remind you to practice a little extra compassion, both for yourself and the ones you love.   This season, that is intended to be full of peace and joy. . . is just so FULL.  You may not be getting the rest you need.  You might have more on your plate than is actually practical for any one human, given all the constraints of reality.  It makes sense that you’re not doing it perfectly.

Show yourself some compassion for that.  

And then, as hard as it may be, try to show some compassion to the ones you love, who may unintentionally piss you off in a moment of weakness.  They’re probably just doing the best they can.  They’re tired and stressed in their own lives too.  Dig deep sister, show them some of that same compassion you need to show yourself.

After all, even during the most wonderful time of the year, we’re all human.  

Even while we’re dreaming of a Silent Night.

to more love,

Crystal

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *