Once upon a time, in a time when life was very different, these three women went to the lake
From what we remember now, we had the time of our lives. We still laugh and reminisce about all the fun we had. All the wonderful conversations. We talk about how easy it was just to be ourselves in a quick weekend escape from our lives that were so full of crazy demands.
In fact, we did that just recently.
We were talking about making plans to get together and went off laughing about all the memories we made on this short weekend trip. We talked about how our friendship took a deep dive that weekend and we’ve never been the same. So it came as a pleasant surprise this morning when I opened Seth’s blog to read about “Memories of memories”. It’s a SUPER quick read in which he surmises:
“Choosing what we rehearse is a way of choosing who we will become.”
I find that to be a profound truth. All the stories I write about on this blog are my memories of memories. They’re most certainly not the exact details of how things went down. Which, by the way, is precisely why I take word-for-word notes during meetings. I document important circumstances and conversations as if my life depends on it because I have a tough time remembering them if I don’t. But even those notes aren’t memories. They’re simple facts.
A memory is full of feeling, emotion, and context.
What we choose to remember most definitely influences the choices we make. For instance, if I really think back on that trip to the lake, it was a long, hot drive in traffic. The house was very, well, “lakey”. We cooked every meal, and this is not my favorite “vacation” pastime. The fish didn’t really bite. We lost a fishing pole, right off the dock! The water was super muddy, pretty gross when I think about it.
But those aren’t the memories we choose to rehearse.
We rehearse the stories, the laughter, the rest, the trust, the bonding, and the promise to do it all again soon. The way we choose to look back on all of those memories has certainly shaped what our friendship has become. It’s always been easy. There’s no pressure. Because we built something back then that held. . . because of what we’ve chosen to rehearse over the years since that infamous lake trip.
It’s a simple, yet often overlooked choice.
What’s a memory that isn’t serving you?
Stop rehearsing it.
What memory do you need to rehearse with a friend today?
Go remind her of the good times you had.
You get to choose who you will become.
to more love,