Both the self-driving car, and the driver

If you live in Frisco, you’ve might have seen this bright orange van around.  It’s a hard to miss.  Covered in enormous cameras, antennas, and other unidentified gadgets, it reads “Self-Driving Vehicle” on all sides.  The first time I saw it coming towards me, I freaked out just a bit and steered to the opposite side of the road, for a measure of safety.  But as it neared me, I noticed there was actually a driver inside.  Whew.

That startled me for a minute.

As I’ve seen them more often, I shared conversations with friends about what’s going on in there.  Word on the street is that they actually are self-driving.  Some have only passengers and others have a drive.ai employee along for the ride. Even if there is someone sitting in the driver’s seat, they are not actually driving the car.  The car IS drivable.  They could drive if it went berserk, but they’re essentially “babysitting” the car during the early stages, while it drives passengers around town.

The irony of a self-driving car, with a driver, is not lost on me.

We live in a world that is constantly pushing us to choose.  You’re either in this category, or that.  You either support this, or that.  You either believe this, or that.  And I get it.  I’m a pretty cut and dried kind of girl.  I tend to want to stay safe by making a choice and sticking with it.

But so often, there is room for both.  

I saw this image on Brené Brown’s feed last night and I wanted to just scream, “YES!  This!” at the top of my lungs.  (I know, two days of Queen B quotes in a row, her wisdom is worth it!)

Making room for both/and doesn’t mean you are wishy-washy.  It doesn’t mean you don’t know what you believe.  It doesn’t mean you’re straddling the fence.  It doesn’t mean you don’t stand for anything.

It means there is a way to stand for both, at the exact same time.

Her list only skims the surface of all the things we can do at the same time.  As women especially, we are so often doing seemingly contradictory things at the exact same time.  Things like showing up to our relationships with loving kindness AND holding strong boundaries.  Like doing meaningful work in the world AND earning a paycheck.  Things like earning a paycheck AND being an engaged, loving mother.

The list could go on forever.

Just like the self-driving car with a driver, there is room for both, at the very same time. 

Sure, it takes courage at times to choose both, but if anyone can do it, I know you can.

to more love,

Crystal

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