You may have noticed in my social stories during our little vacay, that I spent A LOT of time watching my boys hone their skimboarding skills. They first picked up this fun new sport last summer with their “beach” friend Vincent, who is from Hungary. They bought new boards since last year, though. They cleared the living room rug at home, fired up the YouTube videos, and taught themselves everything they needed to know about skimboarding before we even left town.
You can imagine their anticipation of finally arriving at the beach.
They basically dropped their bags at the door, in a full sprint to the beach! I couldn’t have peeled them off that beach if I had the entire cast of Dude Perfect, the most famous Fortnite streamers, and a year’s supply of Haagen-Daz ice cream awaiting their attention. And you know what? I was totally fine with that. This season of parenting is, of course, different than all the others that have come before. Mostly because they are bigger and louder than ever before.
They’re also so much more independent.
They didn’t really need me. They didn’t ask me to help them build a sandcastle. They weren’t really interested in working a puzzle with me. They didn’t really want to do much of anything other than skimboard.
But they wanted me to watch . . . and film.
So I did. I spent a lot of time simply watching them. I cheered them on. I brought them water and Gatorade when I felt like they needed some. I sat there watching them laugh and play with their friends. I was torn. It brought me so much joy to watch them play. And yet, part of me wanted to be in it “with” them. And honestly, got lots of great time together. They even tried to teach Mama to skim. (We’ll just leave that right there.) But I wanted to be out there floating in the water, laughing with the boys about who knows what. But an even bigger part of me was learning to be content right there, watching them from the shore. Releasing control. Letting them grow.
This season is teaching me a lot about simply being where I am.
Of course, I’m still here to guide them. I’m still talking with them and teaching them things I know. We’re still talking every night. But the days of me being their confidant and playmate throughout the day, are passing. And it’s bittersweet. So I’m taking a deep breath and taking it in.
Not the way I wish it could be, but the way it actually is.
I don’t know what you have going on in your world today, but I bet there are some things that you’d change if you could. I’m certainly not saying you should simply sit back and watch life pass you by. That’s absolutely not my style. But I am saying that if you can’t change it, and/or you know it’s what’s best for right now, try to be present in it.
Take a deep breath and rest in it.
You don’t know where you might be tomorrow.
Be where you are today.
to more love,
Crystal
