Ask for help

A somewhat distant, little known, fact about my story is that before I met Scott, I used to flip houses.  It was way before flipping houses was “cool”.  In fact, it was way before the internet was a mainstay of shareable knowledge.  During that time, I carried around big books about how to remodel houses.  Everything from how to tile a floor, to how to rewire a light switch, could be found in a few minutes by flipping to the correct chapter and page.  There were no “how to” tutorial videos on YouTube.

In fact, we’re talking 5 years before the “YouTube” domain was even purchased. 

It was a different world on so many levels.  I had to learn everything the hard way, through trial and error.  But I did learn it.  I considered myself a “pro” at least at the figuring it out part. But when something came up that I couldn’t figure out, I had to call a friend, to see if they knew a friend, who might be able to help me.

It turns out that not everything has changed. 

When “the professionals” couldn’t attain the color I was wanting for the wood stairs in our new house, I thought I had the experience, the eye, and (clearly) the expertise, to jump in and show them how it’s done.  To date, I’ve probably spent a total of 30+ hours trying to attain the perfect gray floor stain.  I will spare you all the details.  But suffice it to say that gray floor stain apparently acts much like gray paint, in that when you apply it, it magically changes colors.  The grayest gray turns purple, even when you mix only a tiny bit of it with brown. Oh, and changing the stain on stairs is an enormous job, compared to repainting a section of a wall.  (just in case you ever wondered)

After my latest debacle yesterday, I surrendered.

It was time to phone a friend.  I called the hardwood flooring store.  They connected me with their best contractor, who was thankfully patient, and willing to help a sister out.  The final product has yet to be achieved, but just talking to the expert, left me feeling seen and understood.  It was such a huge relief to know that he knew what in the world was going on.

It’s the same for so many areas of life. 

It’s easy to keep believing that you know what you’re doing.  It seems like if you just push and keep pushing, you’ll eventually figure it out.  Almost like if you simply don’t give up, you will achieve exactly the thing you’re hoping for.  Take this advice from a girl who doesn’t have the word “quit” in her vocabulary:

Ask for help.

It doesn’t mean you quit.  It doesn’t mean you failed.  It doesn’t mean you’re not good enough, smart enough, or strong enough.  In fact, it means you’re wise enough to know that you haven’t lived through everything yet.  There are people who have been through what you’re going through and lived to tell.  As a result, they are more willing to help you than you might ever dream.

You simply have to ask.

Take a deep breath, and phone a friend.

We belong to each other.  

to more love,


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