This picture tells the story of a treasured friendship. Hartley, on the left, is our rescue pup. She’s four. She’s full of life and energy. Walter is 13, my first-born son. He has a severe heart murmur and arthritis, so he doesn’t really get around much anymore (except, of course, to pee on the floor almost daily). They’re no match as playmates, but their silent companionship is sweet to watch.
They didn’t get a choice about being friends.
One day, four years ago, we brought Hartley home and that was that. They’ve spent every single day together since. At first, they simply tolerated being around each other. But over the years, I’ve watched them become closer and closer. They wait for each other at the door. They look out for each other.
Over time, this unlikely pair became best friends.
“Every BFF is developed, not just discovered. Even if you both fell in platonic love with each other upon meeting– you did not meet as Committed Friends. These Circles (our friendships) don’t speak to how much we admire each other or have in common, but rather to how much consistency and intimacy we have practiced with each other.” ~ Shasta Nelson
Shasta wins the golden ticket!
Think about your very best friends. Did they become your best friends overnight? Or did you find yourself consistently in close proximity, and see the friendship develop over time? When I think about mine, they ALL developed over time with increasing consistency and intimacy.
It’s easy to pretend that friendships don’t need our time and attention.
But we’re only fooling ourselves to believe that, until our lives prove otherwise. Just like Walter and Hartley, we have to show up and be present, consistently proving we’re in it for the long haul. Friendship is always developed, not discovered.
Stop hunting for a treasure and start showing up for the people around you consistently.
Be the friend you’re looking for.
to more love,