Not too long ago, I got the kindest text from my friend Melissa, pictured above. (Who, by the way, is an incredible, vulnerable, hysterical, honest, blogger-on-a-mission to help us hold our families together. You should absolutely subscribe!) It was a hilarious pic she saw on Facebook with the caption, “This made me miss you.”
The timing could not have been better.
She could not have known, but I’d been thinking for days about reaching out to her. She’s been blogging a lot longer than me. She’s younger, and more mature. In short, I just knew she’d be the perfect person to walk me through what I had going on. SO I replied to her kind text with an eruption of thoughts asking for advice, ending with, “Anyway, I know this is more than you bargained for with the above text.” Her response:
Tell me everything. Let’s talk about it.
We proceeded to hop on the phone. . . right then and there. We talked about the thing and then we talked about so much more. We talked about the way criticism and unkind words from others about our writing “makes you want to quit and get on the floor to do a dust angel” – but we don’t because that’s the easy way out. We talked about the sting of the punches to the gut when you share a vulnerable story in an effort to help others and it’s taken as vanity.
We talked about what you do next.
Because if you’re doing something important, kind and generous, no matter what you do, you will hit these points. These things will happen. People will stand on the outside, point a finger and snicker. But what we do next is. . . keep going. We hold hands and march forward. We reach out with texts to check in.
And we hope to get more than we bargained for.
That’s the expectation. It’s what we want. The follow-up text from that friend said, “I sign up for all the things when I love you like I do.” And that’s the truth.
If I’m showing up for you, I want it all.
That’s the way to live sister. Show up for someone you love today. When a hilarious pic makes you think of her, ping her to tell her. Open the door for more than she thinks you bargained for.
Hug her heart. Ease her mind. Bless her soul.
Hold hands and march forward.
You’ll get more than you bargained for.
to more love,