Your need

Your need, HeartStories

As we enter the holiday season, it’s so easy to get lost in the hustle and bustle, pushing our personal needs further and further done in order to simply keep up.  But each of us has needs, desires and longings for things to be better in certain areas of our lives.

Over the last few years, in creating and sustaining HeartStories, I’ve felt a lot more needy ever before in my life, certainly more needy than I am comfortable with.  I’ve always been a pretty independent girl who didn’t like to need help.   I can figure it out on my own, thank you very much.  

Not only does that mindset not always serve me well, it’s often counterproductive.  

The thing is, it’s in the place of realizing and being open to see your need, you open yourself up to more than help.  You open yourself to connection with others.  You make yourself available to be cared for.

I never really thought I needed to be cared for.

I know that might sound crazy, but it’s true.  I don’t know if it’s being the third in family of four girls, that I just figured out how to fend for myself or it’s simply part of my personality.  It’s probably a mixture of a lot of things.

Until very recently, I didn’t realize that real strength is found in the connection between two people who are open and available to truly care for one another.  I’m realizing that my cover-up of always being fine, and never needing help, really comes from a place of fear.  Because heaven forbid, what would happen if I asked for help and it didn’t come? I would feel vulnerable and weak, and those feelings are WAY out of my comfort zone.

But what I’m learning is that vulnerability is the language of connection.

It’s the only way we can allow people to care for us and caring for each other is what this life is all about.  Trusting someone with your need is really hard to do.  They might not care for it the way you need them to.  And that might hurt. (trust me, I know about this)

They also might show up in a way you never expected.  They might show up in a way you never dreamed possible.  And it wouldn’t have been, if you didn’t share your need.

But either way, you’ve given them an opportunity to connect with you that wasn’t there before.

No matter what happens, you’ve allowed yourself to be a little more human, a little more open and we all need more of that. I’ve learned that by opening up in this way, you’ll find that it meets needs in ways you might not have even hoped for.

So do your part.

Let down a wall with a trusted friend this week, or even someone you’re trying to build trust and connection with.

No strings attached.

Show your need and see what happens.

It’s a gift you know.

to more love,



  1. Great post Crystal! This really resonated with me. I’m a new mom and my son and I both had some serious complications, including my being hospitalized for 5 days after he was discharged. I had no choice but to lean on others for help and I was so humbled and amazed to see how my tribe rallied around us. The time apart was horrible but has done incredible things for several key relationships, especially my marriage! I thought my husband and I were close before but wow…it’s like we tapped into parts of our hearts that we knew were there but we’d never have to use before. At the end of the day I’m grateful for the fluke medical complications because the worst physical pain I’ve ever experienced has given a different perspective to everything From that point forward. On the other side of ultimate helplessness and vulnerability, my overwhelming emotion is gratitude. ????

    1. Thank you Leigh! I had no idea about your comiplications! I’m so glad everything is alright now. And yes, the connection that is forged in those times can’t happen any other way. Gratitude! So good.

  2. I totally agree. It is very hard to be vulnerable. Because your putting your heart out there. I’m usually the same way. I got this! However I’ve learned to trust the people that God has placed in my life for a reason. And you will never know the outcome unless you try. There’s a freedom in asking for a helping hand.

    1. So true Amber! There is freedom in asking for what you need. Love it. Thanks so much for reading and commenting!

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