The privilege of the struggle

The privilege of the struggle

We have a general rule in our house that kids sleep in their beds and parents sleep in ours.  But there’s one exception; when one Dad is out-of-town.   When Dad is out-of-town, it’s been rumored that we have giant slumber parties, stay up late, watch movies and eat all kinds of sugar.

We did a little of that this weekend.

While Scott took Noah on a father/son weekend trip, Oaks and I had our own fun with several movies, fun activities and yes, slumber parties.  But right in the middle of all of this fun, I was reminded what an oxymoron that term really is.  If it’s a party, there’s no sleeping going on and if it’s slumber, there should be no partying.


Try telling that to this kid.  When he is sleeping, it feels more like he is dancing the Macarena with all his heart. . . all night long.  Covers?  Who needs ’em!  They have wrapped him up like a big juicy burrito. . . until he realizes he’s hot, and decides to shed his tortilla, which is something like a scene from tornado alley.  It’s a “slumber party” all night long. . . and it’s worth it.

It’s worth it because of the bond it creates with my baby.  

This morning, I read a devotional and a blog that both talked about this idea of “opportunity” being disguised as struggle.  Not just one passing mention.  I mean two full readings focused on this topic.  I’m thinking that’s not coincidence.

You might need to hear this too.  

“You’re going to have to fight for every single thing, forever and ever. It’s really unlikely that they will pick you, anoint you or hand you the audience and support you seek.  No one will ever realize just how extraordinary you are, how generous, charismatic, or caring. . . You get the privilege of the struggle, of working your ‘tail’ off to make a difference. ” ~ Seth Godin

At first that quote might seem discouraging or negative, like a total downer.  But it’s really something else all together.  If you lean in and listen up, you’ll hear it.  Do you know what it’s whispering?

You are not alone.

When you feel like you’ve been beat up, over and over, trying to do the right thing.  When it seems like nothing comes as easily for you as it does for everyone else.   When no one ever picks you, so you have to pick yourself.  When you feel misjudged, misunderstood, and under appreciated.

The struggle is real.

It’s not in your head.  Life is really, really hard.  And most of us don’t get things handed to us on a silver platter.  The struggle is the privilege, the opportunity to learn and grow in ways you never would have grown sitting down to a well-prepared, tidy feast.   The woman you’re becoming makes it through the very real struggles, and she is stronger.

You are stronger, wiser, and more beautiful, not in spite of, but because of the struggle.  

What’s even better?  If you get honest and share the struggle with a friend, you’ll create an even deeper bond as you both realize, you are never alone.  And beautiful, strong, connected women?  That’s a force to be reckoned with.

The struggle is a privilege. 

Even if it feels like you’re stuck with a burrito in tornado alley.

to more love,


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