If you’ve ever read any of my writing or heard me speak about taking the Fascination Advantage personality quiz by Sally Hogshead, you know that learning about her work set me free from any shame about showing up, as the “real” Crystal in my work with HeartStories. It allowed me to stop trying to pretend to be “buttoned up, business Crystal” but instead to boldly let all my quirks show, and eventually shine. (as hilariously pictured above) The premise for Sally’s work is that:
“Different is better than better.”
This was transformative for me. Growing up, I always knew I was “different”. I knew I was a non-conformer. I was wearing a sombrero, making ridiculous announcements about taking a world-wide siesta, with my best friend and a bull horn when other girls were perfecting their curls, wearing the latest trends and trying to fit in. But it goes beyond the current trend of the “You do you” slogan, which I think is fabulous.
This is deeper.
Underneath the current of simply accepting who you are and the ways you are different, is Sally’s battle cry that the unique way you are wired, combined with your life experiences actually makes you fascinating. It gives you an advantage. . .
If only you will see it and decide to cultivate the courage to fully embrace it.
I was introduced to Sally’s work about one year into starting HeartStories, about the same time I was learning about raising a son with multiple learning differences. What a gift that year was to me, and to my son. In the same season that I was digging into Sally’s work about how our differences make us fascinating, I was reading a book called “Different: The Story of an Outside-the-Box Kid and the Mom Who Loved Him”, by another beloved author named Sally (Clarkson). The doors of my heart flung open wide to insist on encouraging my son and everyone else to see that, yes, of course, you should accept the things that make you different. Go all the way. Embrace what makes you different.
Then take the next step.
Have the courage to insist on looking beyond that wonderful “acceptance” to the incredible power of believing that different is better than better. Rather than looking back with laughter that my high school sophomore self was just quirky and odd, I can now look back on her with such fondness. I wasn’t ever in the race to be accepted and cool. I was only in the race to be me. Fascinating me. It turns out that being fascinating is SO much better than trying to conform to be like, or better than, everyone else. Both then, and now.
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
What makes you feel different?
Today, instead of believing the lie that somehow that makes you “less than” others, will you even if just for a moment, consider that it’s the very thing that makes you most fascinating?
It’s part of your greatest gift to the world and we’re desperate for more of it.
People who don’t understand will always judge, that’s why it’s so hard. Let them judge, it’s because they’re still just trying to fit in. Let me just tell you how freeing it is when you can see that for what it is and get on with your one and only, beautiful life.
We’re waiting for you to stop hiding the most fascinating you.
We need you.
to more love,
p.s. This is the belief that drives everything we do with HeartStories GNO. It may not be visible from the surface, but I can tell you for sure that when you’re consistently connecting, face-to-face with the women in your life who know you and love you for exactly who you are, you find the courage you need to stop hiding and do what you’re meant to do in this world. Don’t believe me? Join us 2 weeks from tonight to see for yourself. There are still seats available right here.
photo cred: 7-year-old Noah Gornto