My Midlife Crisis

Today is a big day for me, according to our culture.  Today marks the mid-point of my life and is sometimes accompanied by this thing called a mid-life crisis.  It’s funny because I would have thought I was the last person in the world who would experience said crisis.  The idea of it seemed foreign and selfish.

Yet . . . today I find myself exhibiting the signs and symptoms of this crisis.

When I look at pictures or remember stories from my childhood, I miss that little girl.  I remember how much fun I used to be, how I was young, wild and free.  I was a fiery little strawberry blonde with an infectious smile and a will that could not be broken.  Those little feet ran quickly to explore in the dirt and meet daddy at the door with a hug.  Those little hands made mud pies in the driveway and that little mind believed they were worth selling.   That little heart loved without restraint, I knew no stranger, everyone was a friend.   Sometimes I want that little girl back.

But then I remember, in the wisdom of forty, that it’s my choice.  

The true (and often unrealized) gift of this life is the immense responsibility I have for how I impact this world.

Even on days I think I slid by, unnoticed, I didn’t.  Because even my silence or lack of action, is impact.   My choice to hold resentment or let it go, it’s impact.  My choice to laugh when I want to hide.   My choice to work when I could play and my choice to play when I could work.   My choice to love or look away . . . it’s all impact.

Every little choice builds the footprint, the ripple, the garden, the legacy I’m leaving behind.  And today, more than ever, I’m incredibly aware of it.  None of us pass through this world without changing it, either for better, or not.

My crisis of the middle of my life is to see that ripple, to build it on purpose.   I want to make it shine.  I want to see my own and I want to help you see yours – all that it can be.  Your legacy.  Your heart story.

Everywhere you go, you leave a trail.

I’m spending my life, from this point on, doing all I can to make sure that trail you leave is stunning.  I want it to be in full bloom, full of life and beautiful color.  I want to see it lead places you never dreamed you’d actually go.  And then. . . I want you to look back and see how the path you created brought light and hope to others all along the way.

This is the crisis of my midlife.  

So today, on my fortieth birthday, I leave you with this quote from Jim Rohn & Chris Widener from Twelve Pillars:

Live a life that will help others spiritually, intellectually, physically, financially and relationally.  Life a life that serves as an example  of what an exceptional life can look like.  

Let others lead small lives, but not you.  Let others argue over small things, but not you.  Let others cry over small hurts, but not you.  Let others leave their future in someone else’s hands, but not you.

Leaving a legacy is like planting a tree.  As that seed grows into a tree, it will provide seeds, so that future generations can then plant their own. 

Go plant some seeds along your path for my birthday, will ya?

to more love,

Crystal