If you fake it, you won’t make it

Faking it until you make it won't work ~ Crystal Gornto, HeartStories

If you noticed that I was MIA the last two days I apologize for disappearing with no warning.  If you didn’t notice, never mind, you can skip the next paragraph. . . carry on.  😉

We  had the great privilege of taking a trip with some of our closest friends to celebrate my birthday.  I intended to write every morning, like always, but I got a little sick and that blew my plans.  I had one post written in advance and it clearly didn’t hold me over.

I tell you all this to say that it pained me to not write.   I thought about you a lot.  You are my people.  Many of you have shared that you look forward to being encouraged, connected and inspired to action through my posts each morning, as part of your routine, and I just left you hanging.  I’m sorry.

I can promise you this, some interesting blogs were born this last week in me.

Let’s start with this one.

In relationships, if you fake it, you won’t make it.  

I absolutely understand the reasoning behind the mantra of faking it until you make it.  It works in athletics, it can work in sales, it works in poker, but it doesn’t work in relationships.   If I’d hopped back on the blog today without addressing my silence, you might have noticed.  It wouldn’t have been wrong, per say and in fact that’s probably what a professional blogger might have advised, but not me.

People can see right through us when we pretend everything’s fine.

Whether online or off,  people notice when we go about our lives, shoving everything under the rug, standing on a big, giant  heap saying, “Move along. . . nothing to see here.”   It’s obvious, even when we pretend it isn’t.  And when it’s not obvious, it often becomes clear later.  It erodes the strong ground of trust between friends.

You may never get called out for the heap under your rug, but girl, we know it’s there.

Most importantly, pretending everything is perfect keeps friends at arms length.  We can’t care for the needs you won’t share. We can’t pray healing for the hurts you won’t show.  We can’t lighten the load and help you laugh at that mishap if you’re pretending it didn’t happen.

Our lives are chock full of polished images and messages that seem fake.  It’s the last thing we need from each other.  Let’s be the life boat. Sure, maybe we’re a little tattered.  Heck, maybe we’re jacked up on tires, going nowhere at the moment.

Let’s at least go nowhere laughing together.

Then we can work together on fixing the boat.

to more love,



  1. Ohhhh! What a PERFECT analogy for the boat!!! LOVE this!!!

    1. I knew that boat was special. 😉 Thanks for being such a trooper!

  2. Transparency is always best! Thanks for your words!

    1. So true Dusty! Thanks for reading. 😉

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