I’m coming out from the underground to say: “We made it here, alive!” We have finally moved from our storage unit and vagrant lifestyle, into our forever home (as evidenced by the lovely moving-day picture above). *cue the angels singing all the songs of praise*
I’m so incredibly grateful that we are finally here.
However, we’re officially off the “online grid”. We had internet service for a total of about 3 hours on Monday before the diggers next door ripped up our line, and with one swift snap, they sent us back to the 1990’s pre-internet era . . . until further notice. In some ways it’s been a nice reprieve, because I can’t do the things that require a computer, connected to the internet. In other ways, it’s been a bit stressful, because having work to do that simply can’t be done, feels a little out of control.
But I know that it will pass, and we will have internet again.
In the meantime, it’s forced me to do more unpacking than I planned. It’s given me time to just “be” with the boys. It’s allowed me to rest and feel. It’s been a wild year and an especially hectic month, so it’s probably not a coincidence that I’m being forced to halt. Let’s just say that stopping to “rest and feel” hasn’t been on my radar in quite a long time.
Even while we were on vacation, my brain was still in go-mode.
But if I’m being honest, now that we’re here, I keep noticing that I’m not feeling all the things one might expect to feel upon moving into a brand new house that has required this much time and attention for more than a year. I’m thrilled, no doubt. I’m relieved, yes! I’m so thankful we are finally here.
And honestly, I’m also just a little numb.
It’s humbling to admit it, but it’s like I can’t seem to muster the joy that I thought would instantly fill me in this place. It’s the strangest, most unexpected thing. But I can see what’s happening. It’s the sheer exhaustion, now that the constant high of adrenaline (that got me through this last year) has apparently left the building, mixed with the feeling of being behind on everything in my life, and a dash of feeling disconnected from everyone outside of my immediate family. But I know the joy will come back.
I know it because I know where to find it.
A new house with beautiful countertops isn’t going to bring me joy. Even this lot I love, with all the trees, is never going to bring me joy. Gratitude for all of those things sparks joy, of course. But more than anything I know, what brings me the most joy is restful, leisure time with family and close friends. It’s what makes me feel most alive.
Being fully available, disconnected from all else, and present with the ones I love is my haven of joy.
Since I know that making space for that is my path to joy, here’s my most important new home checklist:
- Fill this house with friends and family
- Make time for them, feed them, and laugh with them
- Share life together
All of those things require my inner taskmaster to write a “permission slip” for scheduled free time to rest, without shame. It means leaving projects unfinished and boxes unopened. And that, is the hardest part.
But I am ready.
Permission is officially granted! This overwhelming year of WAY too much on my plate, may have taken away some of my joy temporarily. It may have left me feeling like a person I don’t even know, but it’s time for a joy comeback.
We all need a good comeback now and then.
You may need one right now too. It’s okay to admit it. It’s okay to say it out loud. Sure, it’s humbling. It means acknowledging things aren’t what you expected. It means you’re not the superhuman you wish you were, but recognizing that, frees you to remember where to find what you’ve lost.
What kind of comeback do you need right now?
Do you need a comeback of joy? Energy? Motivation? Faith? Trust? Hope? Connection?
It can, and will come back.
Make a list of the places you’ve found it in the past. You will find it there again. It will look different than it did before, but it is still there.
It’s there waiting for you to grant yourself space and permission to cultivate it.
It’s time for a comeback.
to more love,
Crystal
P.S. If you want to learn to document your comeback with beautiful images all along the way, our “Phonetography GNO” is a fun way to get started. Invite your girlfriends you join you and you’ll find joy, connection, fabulous food, wine and new photography chops all in one place!
** We’re mixing things up by meeting at Oasis Accents & Up Inspired Kitchen for this girls night out workshop! While that will make the images extra darling, it makes seating limited. So get your ticket today!**
