It won’t happen on it’s own

As I’ve been preparing for the Ya-Ya Sisterhood GNO tomorrow night, I can’t help but to pay more attention to the friendships in my own life.  I’ve been noticing the different types of friendships I currently enjoy and the friendships that are literally saving my life.  Tomorrow night, Shasta will be walking us through The 5 Friends You Need and How to Make Those Friendships Happen.   As part of the evening, she’ll guide us through bucketing our friendships into her 5 different circles of connectedness on the continuum below from Contact Friends, all the way through Committed Friends.

One of the most beautiful things about Shasta’s work is that she’s done all the heavy lifting, the research and the analyzing.  She fully understands the way our friendships move through the circles.  She lays it out so beautifully, just like a map, to help us balance and prioritize the kinds of friendships we need in certain seasons of our lives.  Because often, we expect that beautiful friendships are supposed to magically appear in our lives and meet all of our needs.

But Shasta explains that Friendships Don’t Just Happen.

“I believe that our friendships are gymnasiums for our souls.  Gymnasiums where we can practice being the people this world needs: building up our muscle for compassion, increasing our endurance for giving, and stretching our ability to see the best in each other.” ~ Shasta Nelson

Friendship is easy in the contact friends circle because we just see each other at social gatherings, sporting events, school and the places we’re already going.  Moving to the right on the continuum, requires us to start getting together intentionally, outside of all the normal, contact places.   It’s only with intention and consistency, (like working out in the gym) that we are able to enjoy friendships in the far right circles of Committed Friends.

I can vouch for the time, effort and intentionality required to move friendships across this continuum.

When I think of the friends in each circle, I can quickly see how our relationships correlate directly with the investments we’ve made.  It humbles me to think of how my sisters and my closest friends, have invested in me so selflessly over the years.  I wish I could share pictures and stories of them all today, but we can let this picture represent them all.

You know you have a committed friend when:

She takes 5 hours of her one day off, to go with you to a dreaded appointment to make decisions about a house you plan to live in for the rest of your life.  She guides you through the process.  She makes you laugh when you want to cry.  She stays calm and helps keep you calm when you feel like your head might explode.

She still has this smile after it’s all over.  

Who are your Committed Friends?  Who’s in the middle that you’d like to move over to the right?  What are you doing to foster that friendship?

It won’t happen on it’s own. 

It’s up to you.

to more love,


P.S.  If you can’t make it tomorrow night, check out both of Shasta’s books on Amazon.  Friendships Don’t Just Happen & Frientimacy  You’ll be glad you did.

If you can make it, round up some of the gals in your circles and invite them.  It could change your life and friendships forever.

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