Is it safe to come out yet?

We were at dinner the other night and clearly, I said something woefully embarrassing, enough so that this budding teenager felt the need to crawl under a rock and hide.  When there isn’t a rock to hide under, you obviously just camouflage yourself with your dinner napkin.  No one can see you now, babe.  You’re completely invisible.  

That’s about as good of a hiding place as one of those hide-a-key rocks for the front porch!

This made me laugh, of course. But it also poignantly reminds me of all the ways we *think* we’re hiding.  We think we’re so safely camouflaged behind our hustling, bustling, busy lives that no one sees the hurts inside.  We think the bright smiles, the Pinteresty perfect family photos, and the perfectly filtered Instagram social life feed are hiding the silent battles we’re fighting alone.

News Flash: You have a napkin on your head.

“Regardless of who we are, how we were raised or what we believe, all of us fight hidden, silent battles against not being good enough, not having enough and not belonging enough. When we find the courage to share our experiences and the compassion to hear others tell their stories, we force shame out of hiding, and end the silence.”  ~Brené Brown

Did you get that?  We ALL fight hidden secret battles.  We’re ALL afraid to come out sometimes.  Me.  You.  Your neighbor.  Your co-worker.  Your boss.  But there is such GREAT news for us.

When we find the courage to share our experiences and the compassion to hear others tell their stories, we force shame out of hiding, and end the silence. 

Sharing your story and having the compassion to really listen to someone else’s story FORCES shame out of hiding.  The best part?  As Brené also reminds us, shame loses power when it’s spoken.  It’s like shining a flashlight in your baby’s closet, exposing the shirt, that was most certainly a monster lurking.  It’s over.  Done.  Shame demands secrecy.  When force it out through our words shared with safe friends, we end the silent suffering.

This process is one of the core founding tenants of HeartStories.  

When you share your stories with friends who love you, you suddenly realize you were never alone.

We’re all in this crazy, busy life together.

Pausing long enough to get face to face with your closest friends is just like shining the flashlight of courage, compassion, and belonging into their secret battles, which makes it safe for you both to come out of hiding.

Make friendship a priority, it won’t happen on its own.  

to more love,


p.s.  It’s no secret, that my plan from the beginning has been to create this safe space for “friendship flashlights” completely done-for-you.  Make this next Girls Night Out a priority.  The light you’ll find there will force that “not good enough” story out, straight into the arms of compassionate friends who feel exactly the same way.  Get your ticket today.

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