When you glance at this image, what comes to mind? Do you wonder what they’re talking about? Do you instantly think they’re having a positive uplifting conversation or do you imagine these ladies are huddled up gossiping?
How does it make you feel?
If you walked up to this group in the picture, what would you be feeling inside? Would you be excited to introduce yourself and jump right in? Or would you feel a little hesitant, wondering how they’d receive you?
You’d probably feel hesitant, right?
If it was a group you needed to introduce yourself to, you might take a long deep breath, remind yourself you can do this and take that first step, not knowing how they might respond. How do I know?
Three reasons:
1. You’re human (and so am I).
2. It’s highly unlikely you know all these women well enough to feel comfortable busting in.
3. We’re socialized to expect judgement instead of love.
I don’t know a whole lot about how a guy would feel walking up to a similar circle of men. But I know as a woman, this is a tough scenario.
There are so many thoughts that instantly come to my mind.
Am I late? Do I know anyone? Am I underdressed? Am I overdressed? Do I have spinach in my teeth? Am I interrupting something? Should I introduce myself? Where is that girl who invited me here?!? Who looks the most receptive?
Do any of those thoughts sound right to you? Did you notice anything about all those thoughts?
They’re all about me.
If I’m honest, when I put myself in that scenario, my natural tendency is to think about me. I go into self-preservation mode. I’m focused on what people will think of me and I don’t think I’m alone in that. Many of us have spent our whole lives trying to learn to fit in and be liked.
But what if we expected love instead?
What if we taught ourselves, over time, to walk up to that same group of women and scan their eyes looking to see who might need a hug first? What if we took our deep breath and thought, with intention, how can I bring light and love to these ladies? What if we had courage enough to walk up, introduce ourselves and say, “Hello Ladies! You’re all glowing tonight! Thanks so much for letting me join in. Who needs a hug?”
Awkward!
Right? It makes me feel like that little girl stepping onto a stage with my ringlet curls and dancing my heart out – only to possibly hear no applause. But what if we taught ourselves that the applause didn’t matter? What if instead of expecting to be judged, we expected to simply get to show love?
That kind of love-expectation would change everything.
It’s why I write. If I can help you take the first step to expect to show love instead of worrying about how well you’ll be loved, girl, we are on our way.
And guess what!?
I believe together, we can change the culture for women. We can socialize our children, especially our daughters, to courageously show up expecting only to love. And that, is the kind of empowerment women need today.
We need to be empowered to love recklessly.
Today, instead of expecting judgement, try expecting to love instead.
to more love,
Crystal
Oh, and these women? They were planning an imaginary vacation at one of our GNO’s. If you would have walked up to them, they would have opened their arms and hugged you first. We’re rallying again tomorrow night.
Click here to come join us!
