There is an epidemic of insecurity plaguing the minds of women today. I wonder if it was always this way – if our moms and grandmothers and grandmothers’ grandmothers just didn’t talk about it – or if this is a result of our modern lifestyle, or both. I see it across all types of moms, both working and stay–at–home, helicopter and hands-off. I see it in friends without kids, both married and single. We all have more choices, more opportunities, often times more money and power, than previous generations but with that seems to be this prevailing sense of not being enough. I know I’ve felt this way for years and years, even as I did all the things I was supposed to do. Even as I built my business and built my family – I was always lacking in one place or another, or in one way or another as the blame often hit right where it hurts, on my personality and intellect. “I’m not smart enough. I’m not funny enough. I’m not productive enough. Why am I even here? One day everyone is going to realize I’m an impostor.” An impostor in my own life, that I have worked for and built? Crazy, right? But apparently enough of us feel this way that there is even a name for it – impostor syndrome. From the outside, it sounds ridiculous, but our minds tell us the darndest things.
Over the last five years, I’ve been in a constant search for a solution. I’ve done acupuncture. I’ve read dozens of books and articles. I’ve taken supplements. I’ve tracked my sleep pattern. I’ve downloaded dozens of apps. I’ve changed my diet (though never quite put my heart into that one). I’ve meditated. I’ve exercised. I’ve done counseling and coaching. All in the name of peace of mind. I’m not saying none of that worked. I think all of it worked. But I’m done seeking a solution, a magic bullet, a cure. Overall, I think I finally just got tired of being so hard on myself, tired of searching, and just decided to give myself a break. I can step outside “the recording” and see that I’m doing alright. At least intelligently I can see that; emotionally it’s still a day-by-day thing. My friends and colleagues and family are absolutely essential to my feeling “ok” – to being “enough” – dare I say, feeling great!? Talking about how we all feel these things somehow takes the power of the old, tired story away and gives the power back to us to be our happiest and most confident selves. So every day, just do the best you can and at the end of the day, no matter what resulted, just know that it was enough, because that’s what you had to give. Support the women you love in feeling the same. You are amazing. You have great talent. You are unique. It’s easier to see that in others than in yourself so surround yourself with good, honest people who will remind you of all the things that make you more than “enough.” I look forward to the day that the HeartStories app makes it easier for us to do that!