fbpx

Love in Family

In these posts we discuss ways we can love our families well.

Invisible Imperfections

“Your kids don’t look like they have autism.”

I get this comment a lot and I have great empathy for it. We’ve been taught to believe disabilities are visible. Sometimes it’s hard to go past a picture and see a person.

So I always reply with some gentle form of this:

Can you see my depression?
Can you see my husband’s failing heart?
What about the triathlete that has diabetes?
Or the brain surgeon who’s dyslexic?

My children’s autism is just one of their many layers. The problem is, most people think the spectrum looks like what social media and movies have presented it to be, so it’s confusing to see kids who make eye contact, smile, and talk, and still consider them autistic.

But they are. And it shouldn’t matter if they are high functioning or low, it should only matter that they are fully seen and helped to grow.

We all have an invisible disability, something that …

by Stephanie Hanrahan Community Guest Blogs HeartBeats Inspiration Inspirational Words Love Love in Family Loving Others Loving Yourself Motherhood Leave a comment chat
read more

Don’t Ask a Child ‘What’ They Want to Be, Ask ‘Who’ They Want to Be

child dressed up as a vet holding a stuffed dog and vet kit

A veterinarian. That’s what my wonderful six-year-old wants to be when she grows up.

But here’s my dream for my child as she ages:

I hope she grows up to be a giver and receiver of kindness. That’s it.

I did an interview recently where I was asked what my “family motto” was, and those words instinctively slipped from my lips. Academics, popularity, sports—those things are secondary. I just want my children to navigate this beautiful but often brutal world with a kind heart.

I probably would’ve said something different years ago. Doctors, lawyers, big homes, and bank accounts. But after both of my children were diagnosed with autism, none of that mattered. I quickly began to realize that the most important thing a child can become is an adult who offers radical acceptance.

So that became the new goal: can my children look out for others instead of just themselves?

And, can that favor be …

by Stephanie Hanrahan Community Guest Blogs Inspiration Inspirational Women Inspirational Words Love Love In Action Love in Family Loving Others Loving Yourself Motherhood Leave a comment chat
read more

My Marriage Wasn’t Made for Quarantine

a woman with her husband as he kisses her on the forehead

I don’t think my marriage was made for quarantine.

Here’s the deal: my husband and I work well as introverted/extroverted partners because I can usually get my social fix elsewhere. While he is completely content solo, I crave socialization. He’s self-assured and shops on the same aisles of the grocery store; I like a smorgasbord of spontaneity.

So during normal, non-distancing times, I go out with my girlfriends and he happily golfs alone.

Everyone’s cup is filled.

Now, due to a national pandemic, I’m having to rely on him to meet a lot of my needs and it’s never been more apparent that we walk at two different paces.

My growing frustration isn’t my husband’s fault. I am well aware of who I married and his countless other strengths. But this time together has proven what I’ve assumed for years: one person cannot possibly complete you.

Often times we marry expecting the following from our partner:

Companionship, …

by Stephanie Hanrahan Guest Blogs HeartBeats Inspiration Inspirational Words Love Love In Action Love in Family Love in Friendship Loving Others Roadblocks in Life The Journey Through Life Leave a comment chat
read more

The Silver Lining of Slowing Down

two kids and their dad in an inflatable pool in their backyard

Where I grew up, we didn’t have neighborhood pools or county festivals. We had gravel and dirt roads. In fact, it was such a small town we didn’t even have a chain restaurant until my senior year of high school. I’ll never forget the line that wrapped around the building on the eve of their opening, everyone just waiting for a taste of the elusive Appleby’s.

But there are some benefits to a slower space and pace, and one is that it breeds imagination. I’m probably as creative as I am because I spent a lot of time alone, telling my own stories from a wood deck or a fig tree.

I started my life in a small town and somehow ended up in Frisco, the “fastest growing city in America.” Things here are easier, more accessible. We have shopping and dining and events galore. Yesterday, I saw a robot on my …

by Stephanie Hanrahan Community Guest Blogs HeartBeats Inspiration Inspirational Words Love Love In Action Love in Family Motherhood Priorities Purpose The Journey Through Life Leave a comment chat
read more

Personal Pandemics: Finding the Beauty in Plan B

A few summers ago, I went through my own personal pandemic.

My husband’s heart stopped—he broke his back during the flatline—my children were diagnosed with autism, and the depression and anxiety I’d spent my entire life running from were on the rise.

So much changed, and so many responsibilities became mine. I couldn’t even leave my kids alone with their father for almost two years.

A lot of the feelings I had then you might be experiencing now: loss of hope, concern for your family’s health, tired of teaching and taking care of your kids. There’s the decrease in income, no time for yourself, friendships that fall apart, and most notably, a ton of fear.

Much of my pandemic was unwanted, but it also gave me some incredible tools. I’ve had an eerie calm about COVID and I think that’s only because I’ve been here before.

It takes time to navigate around anything …

by Stephanie Hanrahan Guest Blogs Inspiration Inspirational Women Inspirational Words Love Love In Action Love in Family Loving Others Motherhood Roadblocks in Life Leave a comment chat
read more

What Makes a Good Mother

What makes a good mother?

If you would’ve asked me this question before I gave birth, I would’ve said, “Someone who cares for her kids and their needs; someone who protects her children from pain. A good mother is always there. She’s your best friend, making things easier, better.”

Basically Mary Poppins, not a parent.

A few years into this mothering gig my idea of ‘good’ has shifted. I no longer think a good mother is a pain protector, but someone who prepares her children for the inevitable. She’s not always there, because she’s modeling what a full and complete life looks like for a woman.

A good mother makes mistakes in front of her child’s face and then apologizes in plain sight.

A good mother is honest. She doesn’t lie to her kids or let them win at games. There are lessons to be found in difficulty and defeat.

A good mother doesn’t …

by Stephanie Hanrahan Guest Blogs Inspiration Inspirational Women Inspirational Words Love Love in Family Loving Others Loving Yourself Motherhood Leave a comment chat
read more