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Love in Family

In these posts we discuss ways we can love our families well.

The Mantra of a Mothers Love

Today my six-year-old was unusually quiet on the way to school. When I asked her if she was okay, she replied, “I’m not ready to talk about it,” her face withdrawn and sullen as she stared out the window.

As we pulled into the parking lot, she unbuckled her seat belt and grabbed my neck, sobbing, “I just don’t want to lose you.”

It didn’t take me long to realize: she is me.

We share the same fear.

I don’t ever want to lose her. I don’t ever want to leave. This is the unspoken fear of every parent, although arguably more heightened for me, a special needs mom. Special needs parents feel a particular type of pressure to live forever. After all, who else will love our child with all their extra needs? Take them into their home? Go with less so they can have more? That’s a mother’s job.

I pulled her close, …

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I’m Doing My Best

They put this baby in my arms and I knew exactly what to do.

Parenting a newborn was perfect for me. Not only was I professionally trained for it as a former Labor & Delivery nurse, I was instinctually good.

As my kids have grown, I’ve lost some of that confidence.

It was easy for me to swaddle and sleep train. It’s not so easy to navigate around a bunch of unknown. And that’s exactly what these little humans are: a big ball of uncertainty. One minute they like a food, the next it’s on your wall. Some days they’re happy, seconds later they’re screaming. Add in some autism and a pandemic, and it’s a whole mess of unpredictability.

I often feel like I’m coming up short with my kids. I yell. I zone out and stare at my phone. I don’t pretend play. There are times I wonder if they would be better …

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Love Looks Different for Everyone

This week social media will be overflowing with hearts and flowers and all sorts of mushy feelings. Bless us, we love a good commercialized holiday.

But my heart is with the ones who are single, searching, and unsettled. My loyalty lies with the wife who sent her spouse to work today without a kiss because there’s so much distance between them right now it’s insufferable. I stand with the ones who know “soul mates” and “best friends” are fluffy and fun, but the most attractive thing alive is someone who rolls up their sleeves and commits to the hard work of marriage.

Love is not always bright and shiny and full of clichés, but we seek it out anyway because even though painful, it’s equally powerful. Love can change us (especially if we are generous enough to give it to ourselves).

So take some time today for your significant other—and for you. Kiss …

by Stephanie Hanrahan Guest Blogs HeartBeats Inspiration Inspirational Words Love Love in Family Love in Friendship Loving Others Loving Yourself Motherhood Leave a comment chat
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What if We Believed

Every year my little girl sits on the lap of a stranger with an overgrown beard and an overfed belly and smiles.

She smiles a pure, nonjudgmental, unsolicited, straight-from-the-soul smile. She’s done it since birth.

And this isn’t about the bragging rights of tears versus cheers when it comes to the Big Guy. It’s about the fact that before my daughter could even comprehend there was something to be gained—that this man would give her a candy cane just to cop a squat on his knee—she believed. She trusted. There was an unfiltered acceptance there. A knowing that if her mother handed her over to someone unknown, all shall be okay.

Now, this has become a real area of concern in regard to stranger danger with her, but what a blessing it must be to see the world as my daughter does. Because that’s certainly not my first instinct.

My cup isn’t running over …

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If the Fates Allow

There’s been one Christmas song, or rather one line from a Christmas song, that’s really resonated with me this year:

“Through the years we all will be together. If the fates allow.”

If the fates allow.

The fates haven’t been favorable to many of us this year. Christmas, once filled with hustle and bustle and family time, may feel incredibly flat. Your merry and bright might be a little dulled.

But even though we can’t control our circumstances, we can take ownership of our perspective. So that’s the gift I’m giving myself this year. If what we focus on we feel, I’m going to grant my attention toward optimism. I’m going to remember that every year unlocks its own tragedies and triumphs, but that’s just part of the unsigned contract of humanity: sometimes we get to skim through life, and sometimes we suffer.

It’s a little too ambitious for me to say, “From now on …

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Children Need Presence, Not Presents

Just get on the floor with them.

That’s my answer when people ask me what my children want for Christmas. Just get on the floor with them. Come, quite literally, down to their level.

My best friend hadn’t seen my daughter for almost a year, but on her recent visit, she did just that. She sat in the company of my child and found a way to connect.

Knowing that Campbell loves arts and crafts (and her mother can’t Pinterest a project to save her life), they went to the store and gathered supplies to paint the most majestic of pumpkins. When her visit was over, she gave Campbell a stuffed unicorn that she’s slept with every night since. She rubs it to her nose and asks it to help her dream about her Aunt Jenn.

She met my daughter where she was and what resulted was magic.

It’s hard to do this as a …

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