Be at peace

Have you seen Brené Brown’s recent Instagram post about pumpkin pics?  I died.  “I accidentally pulled up Instagram instead of Instacart.  Now it’s 2 hours later and I have no groceries for Sunday prep, but I know where Rhianna bought her hoop earrings and I have 20 cute pumpkin pics saved.”

Ever been there?

I know I have.  The image above is case-in-point.  I actually work hard to batch my social media “scrolling” so that I don’t end up falling down all the rabbit holes (or pumpkin holes, as the case may be) throughout the day.  I wish I could say that the day this book found me I accidentally pulled up Instagram instead of Instacart.  But let’s be real, Instacart is too complicated for me.  I’m a Kroger pickup kind of girl.  Either way, when this Renewed healing journal showed up in my feed, I swiftly disappeared down the rabbit hole.

The callout pages alone had me at Hello.  

This isn’t an ad, I don’t know anything about this company, but I know one thing: the pages of this book are healing. (Maybe that’s why they call it a “healing journal”.)  It’s drenched in love, grace, and mercy all for the hardest person to give it to:  me (and you).  If you’re anything like me, I can find grace for my kids in the most difficult of places.  I can muster mercy no matter what atrocity they’ve committed.  But simply being at peace with myself, knowing I made the best decision at that moment?

That’s like asking me to climb Mount Everest, without any gear.

I have a pretty harsh inner judge who likes to remind me often of my past mistakes.  She whispers of my repeated failures to learn the same lesson, again and again.  But what I’m learning about living with her is that I can notice her words, without letting them hurt me.  I can choose to be at peace with the mistake I made, knowing that was the best I could at that moment.  I can remind myself that the invitation is to do it differently the next time around.  It’s just like in the movies, when a professional trainer is working to teach the student a lesson in boxing or fighting.  When the student gets hit and falls down, the trainer yells, “Again!” over and over until the student learns the lesson.  It seems SO harsh.

But you know the storyline.

The student doesn’t believe they can learn this lesson.  It’s too hard.  They’re too tired.  They’re simply not strong enough.  The relentless loud shout of “Again!  Again!” seems heartless.  But the trainer knows the lesson isn’t about strength or endurance, the lesson is in the mind.

“If no mistake you have made, yet losing you are.  A different game you should play.”  ~ Yoda.

Sometimes when it seems like I’m repeating the same lesson, over and over, it’s simply an invitation to play a different game.  It’s an invitation to speak to that harsh inner judge:

Oh I see you.  I hear the insults.  I know you’re trying to mock me and make me quit.  But you’re talking to the girl I was last time around.  She was just doing the best she could with what she knew at the time.  I’ve got her.  And I’ve got everything she learned.  Oh, I’m getting back up, but I’m playing a different game this time.  I will make mistakes again.  I will keep learning something new.

I am learning to be at peace with that.  

Are you?

to more love,

Crystal

p.s. If you need a night of rest to tell that inner judge to “Simmer Down”, our upcoming modern calligraphy lettering class Simmer Down GNO is coming soon, and it’s for you.  Don’t miss this one.  Get your ticket today.

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