After back-to-back Valentine’s Day parties at school celebrating the love of friendship, we rushed home to do homework so we could all have our “dates”. My dad came to take the boys to dinner, before we reconvened as a family to watch the Winter Olympics. He brought them each a thoughtful card with some brand-spanking new one dollar bills.
To say they thought that was cool, would obviously, be a bit of an understatement.
But all the while I’m receiving alerts on my phone of a nightmare unfolding in Florida. Another school shooting. More loss of innocent lives in senseless tragedy. And I’m feeling like dying inside.
I’m learning that part of being an adult in this world is learning to sit with both things at the same time.
It’s learning to see the news, feel the sadness (and rage), be brokenhearted and demand that something be done, all while holding space for celebration. All while still honoring the people in front of me. All while still honoring the Olympians who’ve trained their whole lives for these moments to compete for their countries. All while still dealing with all the other things I already have going on in my life.
Life doesn’t stop while we grieve, or even while we celebrate.
It’s going to keep going. And with the reach of the internet keeping us so instantly connected with everything happening, we have to learn to even better care of ourselves. Yes, of course, it gives us a beautiful opportunity to care for others outside our circle. But we have to take pause and care for ourselves first, if that is what we need. We have to make our own space and pick back up when we’re ready.
We take in what we can and choose to respond when we are ready.
Watching the Winter Olympics, celebrating Valentine’s Day, or doing none of the above, doesn’t make you mean, selfish or uncaring. It makes you a human who is taking care of herself. It’s you holding boundaries and modeling boundaries for your children and other people in your life.
“Have a heart that is soft enough to give love and mercy. But that is wise enough to know boundaries.”~ Kayil York
Hold space for the pain and keep going with your life.
You can be both soft and wise.
to more love,
Crystal
