In the middle of a rather stressful moment last night, had a hilarious experience with Scott. I can’t go into the details here, but let’s just say, I felt genuinely embarrassed for the first time, in a long time. It was such a good reminder that vulnerability looks and feels different, for different people, at different times.
(That’s a lot of different!)
I can say something stupid in front of an entire room of women at a girls night out, and not feel embarrassed. I can write something that doesn’t land right on the blog and not feel embarrassed. I can even send it out with spelling errors and when I catch them, it’s more of a feeling of “oh well” than embarrassment. But last night I felt that strong sense of vulnerability.
And it was such a good reminder.
This is my friend Melissa Blair. If you’ve been around here long, you probably remember her. She’s my own personal “vulnerability hero”. She’s full of wisdom, truth and love. You can always trust that if she’s showing up, she’s going to lay it all out there. Not because she’s looking for any kind of feedback. It’s because she’s intent on connection. She lives to make true, real connections with people that are life-giving and freeing.
So she shares all the parts of her story openly and honestly.
She puts her true and tender self out into the world, because she’s learned, over the years, that the pain outside of hiding is better than the pain inside. She’s learned that being real with each other is the only true way to be loved. That’s why she writes, she goes live on social media, she leads groups, and she travels to speak to women everywhere. It’s not because it’s easy and she necessarily “enjoys” it. She does it because she wants to see women set free from all the “hiding”.
She wants to see women be real and be loved.
This quote from Glennon pretty much sums it all up:
“We can choose to be perfect and admired or to be real and loved. We must decide. If we choose to be perfect and admired, we must send our representatives out to live our lives. If we choose to be real and loved, we must send our true, tender selves.
That’s the only way.
Because to be loved it to be known. If we choose to introduce our true selves to anyone, we will get hurt. But we will be hurt either way. There is pain in hiding and pain outside of hiding. The pain outside is better, because nothing hurts as bad as not being known. “
Glennon Doyle, Love Warrior
There’s pain either way.
You can choose to be admired, but that’s exhausting.
Make one choice to be real and be loved today.
to more love,
Crystal
photo cred: Meggie Taylor Photography
